


neo culture trash

by silvertaels



Series: let my ships rise 2k17 [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Group chat, M/M, a mess basically, all the other members make a cameo in chapter 5, but chat fics are so fun to write, chat fic, gay and stupid and pointless
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-03-14 15:06:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13592649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvertaels/pseuds/silvertaels
Summary: Basically an NCT127 chat fic where I write whatever comes to mind. Might feature Ten/Dreamies/Rookies later, idk.-dons: might as well kick me out of the group chat thenTY: GOOD IDEA NOW HOW DO I DO THATdons: ...dons: I will exit myself dwJohn Suh: Am I wrong to assume that dw means "dim wit"?dons has left.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> Edited for formatting, and it cut off a big chunk of my yutae earlier on :( I love chat fics but tbh the formatting is a bitch

 

 

 

**TY** created the group.

**TY** changed the name of the group to **NCT 127**.

**TY** added **moon taeil** , **John Suh** , **you tar** , **jaehyoons** , **winning** , **mark** and **watashi wa donghyuck desu**.

**you tar:** oh wow taeyong

**you tar:** finally getting with the times

**jaehyoons:** sup guys

**TY:** lol

**TY:** hey jae

**you tar:** lol is so last decade

**you tar:** get with the times old man

**mark:** lmao what

**mark:** should've made this long ago tbh

**TY:** **@you tar** shut up

**winning:** hi

[In reply to _TY: @you tar shut up_ ]  
**you tar:** there's this thing called the reply function, ahjussi

[In reply to _winning: hi_ ]  
**you tar:** WELCOME SICHENG

**winning:** hi yuta hyung

**John Suh:** Lol Taeyong

**John Suh:** Well Yuta, as his ahem bosom buddy ahem, maybe you should teach him a bit

**you tar:** what is a bosom

**winning:** what is bosom

**John Suh:** There's this amazing invention called google

**John Suh:** But wait on second thought, don't google it

**John Suh:** DON'T

**you tar:** too late

**you tar:** it's just boobs youngho

**mark:** o_o

**mark:** cool, good to know

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** lmao mark I can smell your soullessness from here

**mark:** wow

**mark:** firstly, that's hyung to you

**mark:** and how do you even smell soullessness

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** do not question the chosen one

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** mark

**jaehyoons:** I can literally smell this group chat becoming a mess already

**mark:** zzz

[In reply to _watashi wa donghyuck desu: mark_ ]  
**mark:** you know I'm only next door right

**mark:** and why do you guys keep smelling things

**you tar:** ikr I can literally smell taeyong's socks from my room

**John Suh:** What...

**jaehyoons:** wtf

**mark:** lmao why is taeyong-hyung not defending himself

**you tar:** maybe cuz it's a _fact_

**John Suh:** Wow, how do you italicize your text?

**mark:** ... bruh

**mark:** get with the times man

**you tar:** _like this_

**jaehyoons:** ... helpful

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** _yeah man, it's simple_

**John Suh:** Guys, please.

**jaehyoons:** basically you just put your text between two underscores

**you tar:** damn it jaehyun

**John Suh:** _Like this?_

**John Suh:** Oh, _it works! Thanks bro_

**jaehyoons:** np bro

**John Suh:** I'm guessing that means "no problem"

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** no, it stands for "naked party"

**you tar:** no bruh it means "nipple pinku"

**you tar:** HAHAHAHA n1

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** high five man

**mark:** what the

**John Suh:** Guys, just because I don't keep up with the times doesn't mean I'm stupid

**John Suh:** Though Taeyong might be guilty of that

**John Suh:** WHOOPS

**you tar:** agreed

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** o dayum shots fired

**jaehyoons:** ohhhh dayummmmm

**jaehyoons:** speaking of which he's still not back yet

**jaehyoons:** and speaking of which, where's the TY sniper?

**winning:** what is sniper?

**you tar:** let me introduce you to my best friend

**you tar:** his name is google translate

**winning:** oh okay

**mark:** oh, I didn't realise our gc only has 8 people

**jaehyoons:** lmao did ty hyung not add him on purpose

**jaehyoons:** I mean that's still quite a dick move no matter how I see it

**you tar:** no idea bruh and taeyong's the admin so

**you tar:** where the fuck is he

**John Suh:** And where is Taeil-hyung?

**you tar:** well I'm not too surprised he isn't replying

**you tar:** like what's new

**John Suh:** True

**jaehyoons:** he is like the epitome of blue-ticking

**winning:** what's epitome

**you tar:** google translate, my friend

**winning:** oh I forgot

[In reply to  _you tar: there's this thing called the reply function, ahjussi_ ]  
**TY:** HAH IN YOUR FACE BITCH, I KNOW

**jaehyoons:** ... it took him like 8 minutes to find out

[In reply to  _you tar: ikr I can literally smell taeyong's socks from my room_ ]  
**TY:** STFU YUUTA STOP SPREADING RUMOURS

**you tar:**   ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

[In reply to  _J_ _ohn Suh: Though Taeyong might be guilty of that_ ]  
**TY:** EXCUSE ME YOUNGHO WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER

[In reply to _jaehyoons: I mean that's still quite a dick move no matter how I see it_ ]  
**TY:** HEY I'M NOT THAT TERRIBLE, I JUST FORGOT HE EXISTED

**TY** added **dons**.

**John Suh:** Oh, how do I use this replying function?

**you tar:** like this

[In reply to _TY: HEY I'M NOT THAT TERRIBLE, I JUST FORGOT HE EXISTED_ ]  
**you tar: @dons** in case u were wondering why you were added in late

**dons:**... noted

**mark:** oh, hi hyung

**jaehyoons:** can't tell if it's worse to be forgotten or left out on purpose

**dons:** hey mark

**dons:** well I mean I don't blame him for forgetting cuz, y'know, he's taeyong

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** tru dat

**dons:** oh hey donghyuck

**dons:** love your display name

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** why thank you

[In reply to _dons: well I mean I don't blame him for forgetting cuz, y'know, he's taeyong_ ]  
**TY:** SHUT UP AND THAT'S HYUNG TO YOU

**you tar:** yong I think you need to turn off your caps lock

**TY:** NO I'M EXPRESSING MY FEELINGS

**dons:** might as well kick me out of the group chat then

**TY:** GOOD IDEA NOW HOW DO I DO THAT

**dons** : ...

**dons:** I will exit myself dw

**John Suh:** Am I wrong to assume that dw means "dim wit"?

**dons** has left.

**you tar:** technically yea ur wrong but based on the context I'd accept that interpretation

**jaehyoons:** ... please don't tell me he's gonna be gone for another 8 min

**jaehyoons:** just to find out how to kick someone out of a group chat

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** judging from past experience

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** I think it's unfortunately highly likely

**you tar:** y'know what

**you tar:** brb

[In reply to  _J_ _ohn Suh: Am I wrong to assume that dw means "dim wit"?_ ]  
**mark:** I mean by the way dw means don't worry

**John Suh:** Ah, thanks bro

**John Suh:** I swear kids these days are making acronyms out of everything

**John Suh:** It's like MAOOE

**mark:** ...

**mark:** I feel ashamed for laughing

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** you should

**mark:** .

**mark:** remember that I am only two doors away

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** what?!

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** I was just making a jab at youngho hyung

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** for being unfunny

**mark:** oh

**you tar** added **dons**.

**you tar:** I made everyone admins so we don't have to wait for yong

**you tar:** all the freaking time

**mark:** wait how?

**you tar:** he's using his freaking laptop to search how to kick someone out

**you tar:** so I just sneaked onto his phone lol

**jaehyoons:** typical snake

**you tar:** bicth u the snake

**dons:** oh

**dons:** I'm back

**you tar:** donsssssss

**John Suh:** Oh hey Dongyoung

**John Suh:** Do you happen to know where Taeil-hyung is?

**dons:** ?

**dons:** beside me

**dons:** why?

**you tar:** he's being a phantom

**John Suh:** He hasn't said anything here since the group was made

**John Suh:** Oh, you beat me to it

**you tar:** being economical with words bruh

**dons:** HAHAHAHAHA

**dons:** he muted the chat

**dons:** for ONE YEAR

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** why am I not surprised

**you tar:** actually not a bad idea

**dons:** yeah but

**dons:** you guys know we can still give him notifications right?

**dons:** by doing this

**dons: @moon taeil**

**you tar: @moon taeil** hi

**John Suh:** Oh, we can? **@moon taeil**

**watashi wa donghyuck desu: @moon taeil** konnichiwa ninja-san

**mark: @moon taeil** ayyyyyyy sup

**winning: @moon taeil** hello

**jaehyoons: @moon taeil** STRONYYYY~

**dons:** I'll have you guys know that he just shoved a middle finger in my face

**dons:** but it's all good and worth it

**dons: @moon taeil** love you ;)

 

**moon taeil:** FUCK YOU

 **you tar:** lmao the first thing you say in this group

 **dons:** ouch

 **dons:** can't believe that's what I get in return for my love

 **moon taeil:** stfu

 **jaehyoons: @dons** thank you, comrade, for your brave sacrifice.

 **dons:** anything for you guys :')

 

[In reply to _jaehyoons: he is like the epitome of blue-ticking_ ]  
**moon taeil:** lol I like that title

 **moon taeil:** hi everyone

[In reply to _watashi wa donghyuck desu: @moon taeil konnichiwa ninja-san_ ]  
**moon taeil:** yoroshiku onegaishimasu donghyuck-san

 **moon taeil** changed his name to **watashi wa ninja desu**.

 **watashi wa ninja desu:** .

 **watashi wa donghyuck desu:** yay we have matching names

 **dons:** gay

 **mark:** gross

 **jaehyoons:** oh but you guys have matching 4-letter names too

 **dons:** OH

 **dons:** YAY MARK

 **mark:** ew gross

 **dons:** D:

 **dons:** DDDDDDDD:

 **mark:** I mean amazing wonderful beautiful awesome

 **mark:** I love having matching display names with my mum

 **dons:** wow much soul such sincere

 **dons:** I can smell your soullessness from all the way here

 **dons:** almost as soulless as taeil-hyung

 **mark:** wait this feels like dejavu

[In reply to  _watashi wa donghyuck desu: lmao mark I can smell your soullessness from here_ ]  
**mark:** ^

 **dons:** aww yissss roommate telepathy sweg yo

 **watashi wa donghyuck desu:** ayy yeah bruh

[In reply to _dons: aww yissss roommate telepathy sweg yo_ ]  
**watashi wa ninja desu:** lmao tryhard 

 **watashi wa ninja desu:** _tryhard-er_  next time

 **watashi wa ninja desu:** -mic drop-

 **jaehyoons:** ohhhhh shiiiiiiiiit hip hop rhyme swag

 **watashi wa ninja desu:** I'm the real rapper in nct

 **mark:** but like that's not even a rhyme, it's just a lame pun

 **dons:** OHHHHHHHHH SHOTS FIRED

 **dons: @watashi wa ninja desu** you ain't got shit on my high school rapper man

 **TY** removed **dons**.

 **watashi wa ninja desu:**  fuck you

 **TY:** OH HI TAEIL HYUNG

 **TY:** FUCK I'M SORRY I DIDN'T REALISE YOU WERE HERE

 **TY:** I'LL ADD HIM BACK RIGHT NOW

 **TY** added **dons**.

 **watashi wa ninja desu:**  actually I was saying fuck you to dongyoung and not you

 **TY:** OH SO DO I KICK HIM OUT AGAIN?

 **you tar:**  you really need to turn off your caps lock

 **TY:** oh so do i kick him out again/

 **you tar:** better

 **dons:** y'know what, I can just leave myself

 **dons**  has left.

 **TY:** WELL I GUESS I DON'T HAVE TO THEN

 **you tar:** LEE TAEYONG

 **TY:** fine fine

 **watashi wa donghyuck desu:** are these people really years older than me

 **watashi wa ninja desu:** lmao

 **TY:** OMG YOU GUYS HAVE MATCHING NAMES

 **TY:**  WHY ISN'T ANYONE MATCHY WITH ME

 **you tar:**  maybe if you would just stop typing in caps

 **TY:** BUT I WANNA BE MATCHY MATCHY TOO

 **you tar:**  yong.

 **TY:**  fine ): 

 **you tar:**  promise to not abuse caps lock anymore

 **TY:**  I promise.

 **you tar:**  screenshotted

 **you tar**  changed his name to **YT**.

 **YT:**  there

 **TY:** OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU YUKKURI

 **TY:** YAYYYYYYY

 **YT:** what did I say about the caps

 **TY:**  BUT BUT I'M NOT ABUSING THEM

 **TY:** I AM GENUINELY EXCITED AND SCREAMING

 **YT:**  ....

 **TY:** YOU'RE THE BEST YUKKURI

 **YT:**  .

 **YT:**  I'll pretend I didn't see those caps

 **TY:**  <33333

 **watashi wa ninja desu:**  gay

 **watashi wa donghyuck desu:** married

[In reply to _watashi wa ninja desu: gay_ ]  
**YT:**  you say that like you're not

 **jaehyoons:**  get a room

 **John Suh:**  Yeah, I would appreciate if you guys kept that to your private chat

 **TY:**  BUT YUUTA MADE ME HAPPY SO I GOTTA SPREAD THE LOVE~~~

 **YT:**  LAST WARNING

 **TY:** fine fine sorry ):

 **watashi wa ninja desu**  added **dons**.

 **winning:**  hyung u missed the gay

 **dons:** what

 **dons:** do I want to know this

 **watashi wa donghyuck desu:** look at the two with the new matchy names

 **dons:**  oh

 **dons:**  thank god I missed it lol

 **watashi wa ninja desu:**  don't worry I can show you

[In reply to _dons: thank god I missed it lol_ ]  
**TY:**  YOU JUST JELLY YOU NOT SWEET LIKE US

 **YT:**  that's it

 **TY:**  NO WAIT

 **TY:**  I mean no wait yukkuri please

 **YT**  changed his name to **yukkuri**.

 **yukkuri:**  told you it was a last warning

 **TY:**  NOOOOOOOOOOO T_____________T

 **TY:** but does this mean I CAN TYPE IN CAPS FREELY NOW

 **dons:**  fuck you **@watashi wa ninja desu**

 **dons:**  my mind has been scarred

 **jaehyoons**  changed the name of the group to **neo culture trash**.

 **mark:**  apt

 **John Suh:**  Does that mean apartment? But what's the context?

 **mark:**  no bro it just means apt

 **John Suh:** Oh. See, I conditioned my brain to think everything is short for something.

 **yukkuri:**  yeah and mark stands for "mark and red kettles"

 **dons:**  neo culture trash confirmed

 _  
_  



	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TY: AWWW MY SHIP IS SAILING
> 
> dons: sorry but it's the titanic
> 
> TY: AWWW THAT'S SO ROMANTIC YOU JUMP I JUMP
> 
> TY: JACK~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: there's a lot of non-graphic sexual references, please turn away if this is not your thing.

 

**yukkuri:** can someone play sniper

**yukkuri:**  I wanna play support

**winning:**  what is sniper

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:**  pretty sure I saw the same question yesterday

**jaehyoons:**  hide on rooftop pew pew gun

**winning:** ohhhh ok

[In reply to _yukkuri: can someone play sniper_ ]  
**TY:**  me I can

**yukkuri:**  I don't think I can trust someone who can barely aim using melee

**winning:**  I can pew pew

**yukkuri:** okay join the game 0127

**TY:**  what about me

**yukkuri:**  just don't get yourself killed

**TY:**  ):

**yukkuri:**  starting game in 10

**mark:**  so this is why I hear screaming

**dons:**  lol what's new

**mark:** sounding pretty intense rn

**mark:**  lmao at yuta hyung

**mark:**  "YONG WATCH YOUR FUCKING BACK"

**mark:**  "STOP DYING PLEASE"

**dons:**  idk why they still let taeyong hyung join

**dons:**  clearly he's a liability

**yukkuri:** should've known

**yukkuri:**  never gaming with taeyong again

**TY:**  D:

**yukkuri:**  NEVER

**winning:**  but we still win

**jaehyoons:**  cuz you're winwin

**jaehyoons:**  and nice carry hyuck

**yukkuri:**  yeah n1 hyuck

**yukkuri:**  also thanks to my healing

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:**  np

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:**  also yes good timing yuta hyung

**yukkuri:**  tbh going 4v5 would've been better

**yukkuri:**  at least we'd have one less burden to carry

**dons:**  miss you, kinda

**jaehyoons:**  ???????????

**dons:**  FUCK

**dons:** FUCKING WRONG CHAT

**yukkuri:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**dons:** this app needs a fucking delete function

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**mark:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**winning:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**jaehyoons:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**John Suh:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**TY:**  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**dons:**  bye guys see y'all never again

_**dons**  has left._

**yukkuri:** lol

**yukkuri:**  the real question is will we see a day where dongyoung doesn't leave or get kicked

_**jaehyoons**  added **dons**._

**mark:**  welcome back

**dons:**  fuck

**yukkuri:**  so dongyoung who do you miss ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**dons:** my mum

**TY:**  HAHAHAHA YEAH RIGHT

**dons:**  YOUR MUM

**TY:**  fuck off

**dons:**  you fuck off

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** kids, kids, please don't fight

**TY:**  EXCUSE ME

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:**  excused

_**dons**  has left._

**mark:**  smh hyungs pls

**John Suh:**  Dongyoung, it's okay to miss someone. Don't we all?

**mark:**  bro he just left the group

**John Suh:** Oh damn.

**John Suh:**  Can someone add him back?

_**mark** added **dons**._

**jaehyoons:**  welcome back again

**dons:**  oh my god

**dons:** help

_**dons** has left._

**John Suh:**  Dongyoung, it's okay to miss someone. Don't we all?

**mark:**  oh no not again

_**mark**  added **dons**._

[In reply to _John Suh: Dongyoung, it's okay to miss someone. Don't we all?_ ]  
**mark:**  ^

**dons:**  well yea who do _you_ miss then **@John Suh**

**John Suh:**  Well, I kinda miss Ten right now

**yukkuri:**  we just saw him like not even a day ago

**John Suh:**  That doesn't mean that I can't miss him, right?

**dons:**  oh okay

**dons:**  cool

[In reply to _yukkuri:_ _so dongyoung who do you miss _( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_ ]_  
**yukkuri:**  ^

**dons:**  to be very honest

**dons:**  that is none of your business

**yukkuri:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**yukkuri:** it's okay man we all know

**TY:** AWWW HOW SWEET

**TY:** HE NEEDS TO SEE THIS

**TY: @watashi wa ninja desu**

**dons:** lol

**dons:** he has recording so he's probably not checking his phone

**TY:** AWWW YOU KNOW HIS SCHEDULE SO WELL

**dons:** as if you don't know

**TY:** AWWW BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW HE DIDN'T DELETE THE APP OFF HIS PHONE?

**TY:** MAYBE THAT'S WHY HE'S NOT REPLYING

**dons:** lol no he didn't

**dons:** calm yo tits man sup with the caps

**mark:** AWWWWWWWW

**dons:**... mark

[In reply to  _dons: lol no he didn't_ ]  
**TY:** AWWW HOW DO YOU KNOW?

**dons:**... 

**dons:** I get it guys, y'all want me out for good

**dons:** I can take the hint

_**dons** has left._

_**TY** added  **dons**._

**TY:** AWWWWWWWW

**dons:** FUCK THIS SHIT

**dons:** what is it that you want from me

**TY:** tell us who it is that you miss :D

**dons:** only if yuta hyung admits his love for you

**yukkuri:** wait why do I see my name

**yukkuri:** I love no one

**dons:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**dons:** tragic

**TY:** but... yukkuri...

**yukkuri:** what?

**TY:** yukkuri...

**yukkuri:**...

**yukkuri:** is this some sort of sappy gay teenage drama

**TY:**...

**dons:** HAHAHAHA

**dons:** better luck next time **@TY**

**TY:** all my life...

**TY:** all I wanted was someone to love...

**mark:** oh god

**mark:** here we go again

**TY:** I never thought I'd find you...

**jaehyoons: @yukkuri** please... do something

**yukkuri:**...

**TY:** I guess we were never meant to be...

**dons:** am I sadistic for finding this amusing?

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** no

**TY:** fate has brought us thus far...

**yukkuri** changed his name to **YT**.

**YT:**.

**TY:**  OH MY GOD YUKKURI

**TY:** THERE'S NO ONE LIKE YOU

**TY:** <3333333333

**TY:** LOVE YOU

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** nice save

**dons:** ugh gross

[In reply to  _TY: LOVE YOU_ ]  
**YT:**... :)

**TY: ♡♡♡♡♡**

**TY:** WELL DONGYOUNG TIME TO TELL US THEN

**dons:** bye

_**dons** has left._

_**TY** added  **dons**._

**TY:** WELL?

**TY:** WHO DO YOU MISS? **@dons**

**YT:** who do you miss ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) **@dons**

**mark:** who do you miss? **@dons**

**jaehyoons:** who do you miss? **@dons**

**John Suh:** Who do you miss? **@dons**

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** who do you miss desu ka? **@dons**

**dons:** culture appropriation tho no go

**winning:** who do you miss **@dons**

**TY:** DON'T IGNORE US DONS

**watashi wa ninja desu:** who do you miss ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) **@dons**

**dons:** what the fuck taeil hyung

**TY:** OOOOOOOOOOOOO LOOK

**TY:** HE RESPONDED TO TAEIL-HYUNG

**dons:** yea and I responded to donghyuck too what u want

**watashi wa ninja desu:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**dons:** bless my soul

**dons:** focus on your recording pls bye

_**dons** has left._

_**watashi wa ninja desu** added  **dons**._

**watashi wa ninja desu:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**watashi wa ninja desu:** I'm done lol stupid

**dons:** ok noted

**watashi wa ninja desu:** so who do you miss( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**dons:** I will exercise my right to remain silent

**watashi wa ninja desu:** sure but I have incriminating evidence

**dons:** what

**dons:** DUCK

**dons:** FUCK*

**dons:** don't you dare

**watashi wa ninja desu:** idk man it's just a click away

**dons:** oh you wanna play the game huh

**dons:** fine you can share it

**dons:** but don't forget that I can do the same :))))))

**watashi wa ninja desu:**...

**watashi wa ninja desu:** just because I have evidence doesn't mean that I'll turn you in :)

**watashi wa ninja desu:** some things are better left untold right :)

**dons:** :)

**dons:** glad we're on the same frequency

**TY:** AWWW MY SHIP IS SAILING

**dons:** sorry but it's the titanic

**TY:** AWWW THAT'S SO ROMANTIC YOU JUMP I JUMP

**TY:** JACK~

**John Suh:** Rose~

**YT:**...

**John Suh:** Oh, so sorry bro. Please carry on 

**YT:** ROSEEEEE ㅠㅠ

**dons:** the fuck

**watashi wa ninja desu:** AND I~~~~~

**watashi wa ninja desu:** WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU~~~~~

**dons:** the fuck hyung

**TY:** AWWW HOW CUTE TAEIL-HYUNG JUST CONFESSED HIS LOVE FOR DONGYOUNG

**watashi wa ninja desu:**... the fuck taeyong

**watashi wa ninja desu:** how do you know I wasn't confessing my love for you? ;)

**YT:** you WHAT

**YT:** actually you can have him lol help yourself

**TY:** yukkuri...

**TY:**  my kokoro is broke...

**watashi wa ninja desu:** well thank god I wasn't

**watashi wa ninja desu:**  have fun yuta

**YT:**  I swear I didn't sign up for this

**YT:**  fml

[In reply to _TY: my kokoro is broke..._ ]  
**watashi wa donghyuck desu:**  NANI?!!

**watashi wa donghyuck desu: @YT**  doushite?

**YT:**  oh help pls don't

**YT:**  I'm glad you're learning japanese but pls

**mark:**  hyuck you've been watching too much anime

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:**  I don't know, mark

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:**  I clearly remember suggesting we watch a drama

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:**  but someone insisted on naruto

**mark:**  oh, who?

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:**  ... sometimes I can't tell if you're really dumb or acting

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:**  but seeing as you ignored the fact I called you mark

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:**  I'd assume it's the latter

**mark:** what, you think you're some detective?

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:**  idk, mark

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** it's what I've learnt from conan

**mark:**  oh let's watch conan

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** okay

**TY:** AWWW MY KIDS THEY'RE SO SWEET

[In reply to _watashi wa donghyuck desu: idk, mark_ ]  
**mark:**  BY THE WAY don't think I didn't see it

**mark:**  you can watch conan by yourself

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** I mean

**watashi wa donghyuck desu:** mark-hyung :)

**mark:**  :)

**TY:**  yukkuri... why can't we be like them

**TY:**  they're so sweet...

**YT:**  yong...

**YT:**  look, they don't even have matching display names!

**YT:**  for some reason donghyuck is matching with taeil hyung

**YT:**  and mark is matchy with dongyoung

**watashi wa ninja desu:**  I mean why not

**watashi wa ninja desu:**  yuta you can join the club too

**YT:**  hey bro I'd love to but I treasure my life, so

**jaehyoons:**  you mean you treasure your love life ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**dons:** can't you tell, he's trying to say that taeyong IS his life ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**jaehyoons:** ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**YT:**  wait what?!

**TY:**  ... yukkuri?

**YT:**  ...

**YT:**  let's

**YT:** um

**YT:** take this offline okay

**jaehyoons:**  ummmm

**dons:**  thank fucking heavens

**dons:** I swear he's lee too-fucking-dramatic taeyong

**mark**  changed his name to **lee minhyung**.

**watashi wa donghyuck desu** changed his name to **lee donghyuck**.

**lee donghyuck:**  hah we're matchy now

**watashi wa ninja desu:**  NANI

**watashi wa ninja desu:**  I FEEL BETRAYED

**lee donghyuck:**  gomenasai hyungnim

**lee donghyuck:**  gotta do it for the bro y'know

**lee minhyung:**  test

**lee minhyung:**  aw yiss looking gud

[In reply to _lee donghyuck: gotta do it for the bro y'know_ ]  
**watashi wa ninja desu:** the bro ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**watashi wa ninja desu:**  wakarimashita.

**lee minhyung:**  sorry hyung

**lee minhyung:**  you can get _someone else_  to match with you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**lee donghyuck:**  das right( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**jaehyoons:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**dons:** wow jaehyun

**dons:**  I swear every time you appear you're stirring shit

**jaehyoons:**  me?

**jaehyoons:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**dons:**  watch your back bro

**dons:**  it's all gonna come back to you one day

**jaehyoons:**  okay

**jaehyoons:** but first make a matchy display name

**jaehyoons:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**dons:**  for what?

**dons:**  that's gay af

[In reply to _dons: YAY MARK_ ]  
**watashi wa ninja desu:**  idk man you sounded pretty excited

**watashi wa ninja desu:**  about being _matchy_ with _marky_

**watashi wa ninja desu:**  DROP THE BEAT WHOOP

**dons:**  ...

**dons:**  that's cos it's mark

**dons:**  I ain't doing that gay shit with anyone else

**dons:**  plus it was unintentional

**watashi wa ninja desu:**  lol

[In reply to _watashi wa ninja desu: DROP THE BEAT WHOOP_ ]  
**lee minhyung:**  ay mc moon in the house

[In reply to _watashi wa ninja desu: lol_ ]  
**YT:**  oh damn dy you fucked up man

**dons:** what did I even do man

**YT:**... smh

**watashi wa ninja desu:**  lol what

**watashi wa ninja desu:**  I'm not a teenage girl who says lol when I'm upset or anything

**watashi wa ninja desu:**  smh yuta

**YT:**  ... whatever u say hyung

**jaehyoons:**  why do I feel like mark and hyuck are relatively the most normal pair

**jaehyoons:**  like keyword "relatively"

**lee donghyuck:**  maybe that's cos we _are_

**lee donghyuck:**  taeyong hyung has enough drama in him for yuta hyung and 16 other people

**lee donghyuck:**  dongyoung hyung and taeil hyung are in this perpetual state of denial

**lee donghyuck:**  they are way too far into this tsundere shit

**jaehyoons:** never heard anything more accurate

**jaehyoons:** esp the part about taeyong-hyung lmao

[In reply to _lee donghyuck:_ _dongyoung hyung and taeil hyung are in this perpetual state of denial_ ]  
**John Suh:**  Wow, Hyuck, I'm amazed by your vocabulary. Also, what you guys see is but the tip of the iceberg.

**lee donghyuck:** thanks and WHAT DO YOU KNOW??

**winning:**  plz share

**lee donghyuck:**  does taeil hyung treat dongyoung hyung like he treats sicheng hyung???!!!

**John Suh:**  It's probably not what you guys can imagine, but I can't say too much. Gotta protect their privacy, y'know.

**jaehyoons:**  sounds kinky

**lee donghyuck:** nuuuuuuuuuuuuu why u leave us hanging like dis?!

**John Suh:**  Hmm, let's put it this way: they say nothing but they do everything.

**jaehyoons:**  sounds exciting

**lee minhyung:** ngl this is making me pretty damn curious

**lee donghyuck:**  right?!! I'm not the only one

**John Suh: @lee minhyung**  Not Gonna Laugh?

**lee minhyung:**  close, it's not gonna lie

**John Suh:**  Ah, so it's a fancy way of saying "honestly".

[In reply to _lee donghyuck: taeyong hyung has enough drama in him for yuta hyung and 16 other people_ ]  
**TY:**  UM WHAT 16 OTHER PEOPLE?!

**lee donghyuck:**  um like all the members excluding you and yuta hyung?

**TY:**  zzzzzz

**TY:**  I don't get why you guys keep calling me dramatic

**YT:** you're the only one who doesn't get it

**TY:**  NO ONE IS EVER ON MY SIDE IN THIS TEAM

**TY:** NO WONDER THE SAYING GOES "EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF"

**lee donghyuck:**  ... exactly

**TY:**  farewell, my friends

**TY:**  I guess this is where our time together ends

**TY:**  from now on, we will all walk our own paths

**TY:** if we are destined to meet again. see you when our paths cross.

**John Suh:**   **@YT**  Yuta, oh Yuta.

**YT:**  I know, youngho, I know

**dons**  changed his name to **ddoing**.

**ddoing:**  he thinks his life is some epic blockbuster or some shit

**ddoing:**  also why are you guys discussing my relationship dynamics with taeil-hyung?!

**ddoing:**  what the heck hyung  **@John Suh**

**lee donghyuck:**  cos you guys are so mysterious man

**lee donghyuck:**  like are you guys even a thing or not

**ddoing:** lol ok

**ddoing:**  also none of your business

**lee donghyuck:**  rude

**John Suh:** Um, haha, I hope I didn't say too much?

**jaehyoons:**  not enough

**jaehyoons:**  I want to hear moreeeeeee

**jaehyoons:**  or at least answer this **@ddoing** : what is taeil-hyung to you?

**ddoing:**  ... wtf jaehyun

**lee donghyuck:** answer it plsssssss

**lee minhyung:**  I wanna know toooooo

**John Suh:**  Honestly, I'm a little curious too.

**ddoing:**  ...

**ddoing:** fine, I'll answer but no explanations

**lee donghyuck:**  WHAT IS IT

**ddoing:** the moon

**TY:** AWWW IS IT CUZ HE LIGHTS UP YOUR DARK NIGHTS

**ddoing:** what the hell taeyong hyung

**ddoing:** weren't you having another teenage drama moment

**lee donghyuck:** pls don't tell me it's cuz he's  _moon_ taeil

**ddoing:** no explanations ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**lee donghyuck:** good job hyung

**lee donghyuck:** good job at making us even more curious

**ddoing:** thanks

**ddoing:** why aren't you curious about TY and YT 

**lee minhyung:** isn't it obvious though?

**lee minhyung:** no matter what dramatic shit taeyong hyung does, yuta hyung still loves him all the same

**YT:** what?

**lee minhyung:** what?

**ddoing:** what?

**watashi wa ninja desu** changed his name to  **strony**.

**strony:** what?

**jaehyoons:** ayyyy stronyyyyyy

**strony:** ayyyyyyyy

[In reply to  _John Suh:_ _Hmm, let's put it this way: they say nothing but they do everything._ ]  
**jaehyoons:** lowkey matching 6 letter names

**jaehyoons:** knew I could trust you, youngho-hyung

**John Suh:** Of course.

**ddoing:** what?

**jaehyoons:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**ddoing: ...**

[In reply to  _dons:_ _I swear every time you appear you're stirring shit_ ]  
**ddoing:** ^

**jaehyoons:** was just pointing out a fact tho, y u triggered?

**ddoing:** fuck off

**strony:** lmao

**ddoing:** fuck you

**strony:** sure

**ddoing:**...............

**TY:** OH MY GOD GUYS

**ddoing:** I swear I have nothing to do with this

**strony:** oh really

**TY:** STAHP BUT NOT REALLY

**TY:** PLEASE GO ON

**jaehyoons:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**ddoing:** yes really?

**ddoing:** wtf taeil-hyung?

**strony:** what's wtf? want to fuck?

**lee minhyung:** UMMMMMMMMMMMM

**ddoing:**............. you need some water hyung?

**ddoing:** you seem really... dry

**strony:** quite the opposite, actually.

**lee minhyung:** UMMMMMMMMMM OKAY TMI

**ddoing:** lol ok I'll get you a towel

**ddoing:** wouldn't be nice to catch a cold right

**lee donghyuck:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**strony:** wow, how thoughtful of you dongyoung

**YT:**..... why isn't anyone asking them to get a room

**lee donghyuck:**  SHHHHH YUTA HYUNG JUST ENJOY THE SHOW

[In reply to  _ddoing: wtf taeil-hyung?_ ]  
**strony:** so like is the offer still on?

**ddoing:**........ bless my fucking soul

**ddoing:** oh yes sure anytime 24/7 anywhere call me when you need my services 010-what-the-fuck

**strony:** okay like now

**TY:** GUYS I AM SCREAMINGGGGGG

**TY:** THIS CONVO IS NOT CUTE AT ALL BUT WHY DO I FIND IT SO ADORABLE????

**John Suh:** Guys, I'm not sure if I should say this but... Taeil-hyung is laughing really hard right now.

**ddoing:** of course, he's sadistic af

**jaehyoons:** so... you guys are into that stuff?

**ddoing:**... not you too jae

**TY:** SO ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO FIND HIM

**ddoing:** in case you couldn't tell

**ddoing:** he's with youngho hyung atm

**TY:** DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T GO CLAIM YOUR MAN

**ddoing:**........ nvm

**John Suh:** Taeil-hyung is just trying to make Dongyoung uncomfortable, haha.

**ddoing:** exactly, like I said

**ddoing:** HE'S SADISTIC AF

**strony:** if you're not coming then I will come for you ;)

**jaehyoons:** oh god

**jaehyoons:** youngho hyung pls help

**ddoing:** UGH

**ddoing:** can you just enjoy your coffee with youngho-hyung and STOP DOING THIS SHIT

**strony:** if I stop doing this then can I do you instead?

**ddoing:** OH MY GOD YOUNGHO HYUNG CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME

**John Suh:** I don't know, man. He's laughing so hard he's crying. 

**ddoing:** well if all else fails I'll just quit this group

**ddoing:** again

**John Suh:** Um... He says he'll just message you privately then.

**ddoing:** oh thanks for the tip hyung

**ddoing:** blocked

**winning:** why you block hyung?

**jaehyoons:** ahahahahahaha sicheng let's just leave the hyungs alone alright

**lee donghyuck:** I'm so satisfied for some reason

**ddoing:** are you also sadistic like taeil-hyung

**lee donghyuck:** um no pls

**lee donghyuck:** I feel enlightened

**lee donghyuck:** like I never expected taeil hyung to be like this

**strony:** what's wrong with me?

**ddoing:** everything

**lee donghyuck:**  ... I didn't say that

**strony:** what's wrong is that you're not in me **@ddoing**

**ddoing:** HELP

_**ddoing** has left._

_**strony** added  **ddoing**._

**strony:** was I naughty today?

**ddoing:** FUCK

**ddoing:** I hope you get chased out of the cafe

**ddoing:** sorry youngho-hyung

**John Suh:** Haha, don't worry, we're on our way back already.

**ddoing:** thank fucking heavens

**ddoing:** I'm cutting off all ties with taeil-hyung

**strony:** you don't like being tied up? okay, I understand

**YT:**... has taeil hyung always been this dirty?

**ddoing:** FUCKING YES

**ddoing:** now you guys understand my pain

**strony:** oh... I thought you liked it rough

**ddoing:** FUCK MY LIFE

**strony:**  why are you so sensitive?

**John Suh:** He keeps sniggering to himself... I think manager-hyung is shooting him weird looks lol.

**ddoing:** CAN MANAGER-HYUNG PLEASE CONFISCATE HIS PHONE OR SOMETHING

**jaehyoons:**  um... so.... taeil-hyung likes to sext?

**ddoing:**  he just has the sense of humour of a high school boy

**TY:**  have fun entertaining taeil-hyung tonight ;)

**lee donghyuck:** thanks for the entertainment **@strony**

**strony:**  anytime, my bro

**ddoing:**  SEE, it's what high school students enjoy

**strony:**  but how can you tell whether I'm joking or sexting?

**ddoing:** why the fuck would you sext in a GROUP CHAT?!

**strony:**  you'd never know ;)

**ddoing:**  ... hyung

**ddoing:**  they're gonna think that you're serious

**strony:**  but what if I am?

**jaehyoons:**  gasps

**ddoing:**  SEE?

**ddoing:**  OKAY FINE

**ddoing:** do what you want and think what you want guys

**strony:**  I'm coming for you dongyoung :)

**jaehyoons:**  now I can't read anything taeil-hyung types without a sexual connotation

_**ddoing**  has left._

 

-

//outtake #1//

 

"Dongyoung?"

"Don't talk to me," Dongyoung mutters as he pulls the sheets over his head.

Taeil climbs into the bed, spooning Dongyoung. He rests his chin on Dongyoung's shoulder. "Are you pissed?"

"Fuck off," he spits in a whiny tone.

"How can I resist when your reaction is so adorable?!" Taeil retorts as snakes his arm around Dongyoung's torso and throws a leg over.

"... Stop it," Dongyoung says, but he does nothing to remove Taeil.

"What if I really meant what I said?"

Dongyoung groans, "Haven't you had enough fun on the group chat? Not here too, please."

"No, like, really," Taeil's voice is low and breathy, his lips grazing against Dongyoung's earlobe.

Dongyoung finally turns around to meet Taeil's gaze - his eyes are trained on Dongyoung's, as though he's sending signals through their eye contact. And Dongyoung gets it.

"Then stop talking so much and just do it." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry? I just needed to indulge in doil lol. Also there may be more "outtakes" in future, idk. I thought this chapter was a little draggy and pointless (but then again everything is pointless) so lol. And BOSS?! (My biases are Doyoung and Taeil, so) DOYOUNG. btw I don't think yuta games, it's just the other 4 but it's for the lulz so


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ddoing: @lee donghyuck would you stop blasting neo got my back on your speakers
> 
> ddoing: I can hear it from my freaking room
> 
> YT: maybe that's cos your room is a wall away from his
> 
> ddoing: and your point being?
> 
> ddoing: I deserve my peace and quiet regardless of my distance from donghyuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow it's been awhile eh? been busy with the new semester, nct even came back, and I finally found time to write this. hope it's still enjoyable!

 

**ddoing: @lee donghyuck**  would you stop blasting neo got my back on your speakers

**ddoing:** I can hear it from my freaking room

**YT:** maybe that's cos your room is a wall away from his

**ddoing:** and your point being?

**ddoing:** I deserve my peace and quiet regardless of my distance from donghyuck

**YT:** just walk over and turn it off?

**ddoing:** and why exactly should I give up my comfort to do that?

**ddoing: @lee donghyuck**

**strony:** lazy af dude

**ddoing:** and so??

**ddoing:** it's not your first day knowing me

**strony:** this is why you deserve to have your peace disturbed

**jaehyoons:** ooooooooo

**jaehyoons:** fight fight

**jaehyoons:** round 1, go

**winning:** exciting

**winning:** we be screaming go

**lee minhyung:** oh wow winning rhymes with exciting

**John Suh:** It doesn't though? '-ning' and '-ting'?

**jaehyoons:** one does not question the high school rapper

[In reply to  _John Suh: It doesn't though? '-ning' and '-ting'?_ ]  
 **lee minhyung:** bro why you be killin my vibes?

**ddoing:** um guys I need your concern

**ddoing:** it's not stopping and it just got louder

**ddoing: @lee minhyung** please

**lee minhyung:** hyung, you  _know_ he never listens to me

**ddoing:** right

**ddoing:** help

**ddoing:** UGH IT'S REPLAYING AGAIN

**ddoing: @lee donghyuck** I swear

**lee donghyuck:** IT'S NOT ME I SWEAR

**lee donghyuck:** I'm tired of it too but he won't let me stop the music

**ddoing:** who is he

**ddoing:** brb grabbing my taser

**lee donghyuck:** YA BOI STRONY

**lee donghyuck:** please, bring your taser

**ddoing:** fucking hell

**ddoing:** that bitch

**ddoing:** can't leave me the fuck alone

**ddoing:** I'm sorry  **@lee donghyuck**

**ddoing:** give me a minute to get out of my bed

**jaehyoons:**... wow

**jaehyoons:** equally dramatic even without Taeyong-hyung

**YT:** thank god they take turns

**TY:** why me?!

**TY:** I haven't been dramatic these days right?!!

**TY:** TELL ME

**jaehyoons:** um...

**YT:** oh yeah of course

**lee minhyung:** okay dude that sounds soulless even to me

**TY:** YUKKURI WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME??

**TY:** am I too dramatic for you?

**TY:** do you think I can't take the truth?

**jaehyoons:** oh god

**lee minhyung: @TY** hyung, no offence intended at all but I think you are being quite dramatic right now...

**TY:** I am, huh...

**TY:**  what happened to neo got my back?

**TY:**  none of you got my back. none.

**jaehyoons:** shit

**John Suh:** Mark...

**YT:** Yes, Yong, you are dramatic. But nothing wrong with that, alright? That's just you being you. I don't want you to change just because of what others say. You are fine just the way you are. They're just being haters, especially Dongyoung.

**jaehyoons:** yeah man, Dongyoung-hyung is almost as dramatic as you, hyung

**jaehyoons:** AndI'm sorry for saying you are dramatic, hyung. I thought that was a running gag in this group... If you're uncomfortable with that, I'll stop.

**TY: @YT** ♡♡♡

**TY: @jaehyoons** :') I'm fine. Don't worry about it.

**TY:** also, look at the date guys

**TY:** APRIL FOOLS' BITCHESSSSS

**TY:** HAHAHAHAHA

**YT:** FUCK YOU

**YT:** DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS

**YT:** ever heard of the boy who cried wolf?

**YT:** better be careful man

**TY:** love you too <3

**jaehyoons:**.......

**jaehyoons:** I should be glad this was a joke but

**lee donghyuck:** update guys, taeil-hyung didn't get tased, all is well

**lee donghyuck:** ho shit wtf went down in here??!

**lee minhyung:** a small skit prepared by director Lee Taeyong

**lee donghyuck:** lmaoooooo  **@TY**

**lee donghyuck:** not very nice to toy with feelings tho

**jaehyoons:** right????

**jaehyoons:** sense of betrayal is real

[In reply to  _lee donghyuck: update guys, taeil-hyung didn't get tased, all is well_ ]  
 **strony:** all is not well

**strony:** I'm out.

_**strony** has left._

**TY:**????

**ddoing:** lol

**ddoing:** what a dick

**TY:** what did you do

**TY:** why did you piss him off

**ddoing:** why is it automatically my fault?!

**TY:** well tbh you're the straightforward one so I wouldn't be surprised if you said smth insensitive

**TY:**  I think you know that too

**TY:** and I don't believe taeil-hyung would piss you off first

**ddoing:** of course, of course

**ddoing:** I'm always the bad guy and he's always the good guy

**ddoing:** that's how it's always been, right?

**lee donghyuck:** please tell me this is another april fools joke

**John Suh:** Dongyoung, allow me to give my two cents worth: You do care about others in your own way, but sometimes, it may not be what they want. I'm not saying you're in the wrong, but there could just be some conflict of interest.

**ddoing:** yeah I understand that

**ddoing:** but believe me I really did nothing this time

**ddoing:** I don't get why you guys are siding him

**ddoing:** he's the one who fucked things up

**TY:** dongyoung. it's because we know that taeil-hyung doesn't get angry easily

**TY:** it just doesn't make sense if you two are fighting without you saying something wrong, you know?

**ddoing:** of course, he can never say anything wrong

**TY:** please.

**ddoing:** what? just stating facts, right?

_**TY** removed  **ddoing**._

_**TY** added  **strony**. _

**TY:** I kicked dy out

**TY:** we don't need his toxicity here

**TY:**  taeil-hyung, you can tell us anything

**strony:**  don't say that about him

**strony:** it's just... 

**strony:** we were talking and he said some stuff to me

**strony:** yeah

**TY:**  I knew it 

**TY:**  I can't believe you're still siding him 

**TY:**  I understand if you don't wanna tell but know that you can always talk to me okay? 

**TY:**  I'll always take your side

**strony:**  :) 

**lee donghyuck:**  I swear if this is another april fools' joke 

**jaehyoons:**  omg 

**lee minhyung:**  I wish tho 

**lee minhyung:**  I just saw Dongyoung-hyung go out looking really pissed 

**jaehyoons:**  him?? going out?? 

**lee minhyung:**  yeah, exactly 

**lee minhyung:**  he who wouldn't even walk 5 steps to turn off the music 

**lee donghyuck:**  oh dayum 

**John Suh:**  Oh boy... 

**winning:**  what? oh no 

**YT:**  shit is getting real 

**lee minhyung:**  wait  **@strony** hyung, where you going? 

**TY:**  what 

**TY:**  what happened mark 

**lee minhyung:**  he just rushed out of the dorm 

**lee minhyung:**  idk I'm kinda worried 

**TY: @strony**  if you don't reply in 5 I'm gonna go get you 

**lee donghyuck:**  why don't you just call him? 

**TY:**  maybe he really has somewhere to rush to 

**TY:**  don't wanna disturb him 

**strony:**  chill out guys 

**strony:**  I'm just running late for my dental appointment 

**jaehyoons:**  that just sounds like a bad excuse tbh 

**YT:**  dental appointment? LOL

**John Suh:**  Sorry, hyung, even I won't fall for that. 

**lee minhyung:**  wait... am I dumb for believing him?

**TY:**  bullshit 

**TY:**  you're going after dongyoung, aren't you 

**strony:**  oh, haha 

**strony:**  I guess I can't fool you 

**strony:**  just wanna talk things out asap 

**strony:**  don't wanna drag this out 

**strony:**  still gotta see each other everyday, yknow? 

**TY:**  fuck, I knew it 

**TY:**  just 

**TY:**  keep us posted okay? 

**TY:**  I'm just a phone call away 

**John Suh:**  I'm sure everything will turn out fine, but I'm still here if you need me. 

**strony:**  thanks guys 

**strony:**  gtg tho I see him 

**lee minhyung:**  oh god 

**lee minhyung:**  what if they fight in public? 

**TY:**  dw, they won't 

**TY:**  dy is so image-conscious and taeil-hyung isn't one to fight 

**lee minhyung:**  I really hope so 

**lee donghyuck:** damn... should've stopped taeil-hyung earlier

**lee donghyuck:**  they must've fought because of the music blasting 

**jaehyoons:**  what an eventful april fools' 

**jaehyoons:**  in our chatroom that is 

**jaehyoons:**  neo indeed 

**lee minhyung:**  idk man, beats being a victim of practical jokes 

**lee donghyuck:**  you say that like it hasn't happened today 

**lee minhyung:**  stfu 

**lee minhyung:**  can't believe you have the guts to talk about it 

**lee donghyuck:**  why not?? 

**lee donghyuck:**  I'm proud of my achievements 

**jaehyoons:**  now this is interesting 

**lee minhyung:**  achievements?? really??? 

**jaehyoons:**  what did you do  **@lee donghyuck**

**lee donghyuck:** made him fall for the chewing gum cockroach prank

**YT:**  dude that's like super ancient 

**YT:**  people still do it nowadays?! 

**lee donghyuck:** idk, a fan gave it to me

**lee minhyung:** I have no idea why he's proud of this

**lee minhyung:**  like, it's so overdone and lame and just no 

**lee donghyuck:** overdone but you still fell for it lmao

**lee donghyuck:** LMAO

**jaehyoons:**  ... Mark 

**jaehyoons:**  can't save you this time 

**YT:**  should have tried something like replacing shaving cream with toothpaste 

**lee donghyuck:**  wouldn't that still work tho? just not as well 

**John Suh:** Sorry to break it to you, Yuta, but everyone in our dorm uses an electric shaver.

**jaehyoons:**  LOL 

**jaehyoons:**  you know it's bad when even Youngho-hyung has something to say 

**YT:**  ...

**YT:**  damn it

**YT:** I meant replacing toothpaste with shaving cream

**lee minhyung:** oh damn man

**lee minhyung:** now that's nasty

**jaehyoons:**  watch your back hyung 

**jaehyoons:**  who knows you might be brushing your teeth with shaving cream one day 

**YT:**  at least I'd know it's you then 

**jaehyoons:** that amount of trust you have in your oppa

**YT:**  that's not how you should talk to your oppa

**lee minhyung:**  oh no

**lee minhyung:** I thought you guys were over that oppa phase

**jaehyoons:** nope, it never ends

**jaehyoons:**  right, yukkuri? ;) 

**YT:**  ayyy das right jaehyoons 

**lee donghyuck:**  isn't now the timing for TY track to appear and cry over being excluded again

**TY:**  excuse me what do you mean cry 

**TY:**  but idk I'm just feeling a little worried cos taeil-hyung isn't saying anything 

**John Suh:**  Don't worry, they'll figure it out somehow. It's not like it's the first time they're arguing. 

**jaehyoons:**???

**lee minhyung:**  wait, they have? 

**John Suh:**  Wait, was I not supposed to say this either? 

**lee minhyung:**  idk bro 

**lee minhyung:**  I haven't heard about Taeil-hyung fighting with anyone other than Sicheng-hyung 

**jaehyoons:**  yeah same 

**John Suh:**  Oh, um, ignore that please? 

**lee donghyuck:**  hyung you can't just leave us hanging like this after making us curious!!! 

**lee minhyung:**  ^ 

**jaehyoons:**  ^ 

**YT:**  it's kinda their privacy but ^ 

**John Suh:**  Um, haha, I don't really know the details either but this happened really long ago, and they apparently just talked it out and accepted that they have differences. 

**John Suh:**  I think it's after that day that they started becoming closer? That's really all that I know. 

**jaehyoons:**  oooooooooo 

**lee donghyuck:**  OOOOOOO

**lee donghyuck:** was that...

**lee donghyuck:**  the start of something new?

**lee donghyuck:** -cues high school musical- 

**lee minhyung:**  how didn't I hear about this??! 

**John Suh:**  I only heard it from Dongyoung himself, I don't know if they told anyone else. 

**TY:**  well, I knew about it too 

**TY:**  but doesn't make me any less worried 

**lee minhyung:** c'mon hyung, no news is good news right?

**lee minhyung:**  maybe they're just having a good conversation 

**lee minhyung:**  we've been too busy to find time for serious talk these days 

**jaehyoons:**  yeah hyung 

**jaehyoons:**  be more optimistic 

**strony:**  hi..? 

**TY:**  HYUNG 

**TY:**  ARE YOU ALRIGHT 

**strony:**  umm 

**strony:**  I'm alive..? 

**TY:**  YEA I CAN TELL BUT THAT'S NOT WAHT I MEANT U KNOW IT 

**strony:**  umm... 

**strony:**  I think... 

**strony:**  it's over for us..? 

**TY:**  FUCK 

**TY:**  STAY RIGHT WHWRE U ARE IM COMING 

**lee minhyung:**  oh no... 

**lee minhyung:**  oh.. 

**lee minhyung:**  oh. 

**lee minhyung:**  oh okay. 

**winning:**  ??? 

**winning:**  mark u ok? 

**jaehyoons:**  oh okay I hear laughter 

**jaehyoons:**  well played **@strony**

**YT:**... well played, indeed

**lee donghyuck:**  mark I can hear you cackling 

**lee minhyung:**  y'all should have seen this 

**lee minhyung:**  absolutely hilarious 

**lee minhyung:**  Taeyong-hyung grabbed his stuff and ran out of the door 

**lee minhyung:**  and then the door wasn't closing and I was wondering what happened 

**lee minhyung:**  then I suddenly hear him going "aish... AISHHHHHH SERIOUSLY??? WHAT THE FUCK!" 

**lee minhyung:**  for a moment I was worried so I went to the door 

**lee minhyung:**  only to see Taeyong-hyung frowning at Taeil-hyung and Dongyoung-hyung 

**lee minhyung:**  the two of them laughing 

**lee minhyung:**  y'all should have seen Taeyong-hyung's face 

**lee donghyuck:** oscar-worthy?

**lee minhyung:**  oh yes definitely 

_**strony**  added  **ddoing**. _

**ddoing:**  HAPPY APRIL FOOLS' KIDS 

**strony:**  thanks for the support guys 

**ddoing:**  no thanks for the distrust guys 

**ddoing:**  also what the heck  **@John Suh** stop spilling our stories 

**John Suh:**  Oh, sorry, haha. Glad you guys are fine though :) 

[In reply to  _lee donghyuck:_ _I swear if this is another april fools' joke_ ]  
 **lee donghyuck:** called it 

[In reply to  _lee donghyuck:_ _they must've fought because of the music blasting_ ]  
 **strony:**  still fell for it 

**lee donghyuck:**  damn it 

**TY:**  ... 

**TY:**  I 

**TY:**  AM 

**TY:**  SO 

**TY:**  FUCKING 

**TY:**  ANNOYED 

**TY:** UGH

**TY:** FUCK

**TY:**  I TRUSTED YOU TAEIL-HYUNG 

**TY:**  IT SEEMED SO REAL 

**strony:**  XD 

**strony:**  thanks? 

**ddoing:**  well you have me to thank for that 

**ddoing:**  I carefully crafted my terrible image for years 

**ddoing:**  just for this one april fools' joke 

**strony:**  yeah sure 

**ddoing:**  excuse me??? 

**strony:**  nothing 

**ddoing:**  :) 

**ddoing:**  that's what I thought :) 

**strony:**  :) 

**TY:**  FUCK YOU BOTH 

**strony:**  glad our efforts paid off 

**ddoing:**  yeah man 

**ddoing:**  you don't know how hard it was to stay quiet outside 

**ddoing:**  all because mark was sitting in the living room 

**ddoing:**  I almost died holding my laughter in when taeil-hyung said he's late for his dental appointment

**lee minhyung:**  hey sorry hyung but that was because someone was blasting neo got my back ON REPEAT next door 

**strony:**  oh oops 

**ddoing:** oh

**ddoing:**  HYUNG 

**strony:**  YOU AGREED TO IT 

**ddoing:**  ok but it wasn't part of the plan to put the SAME SONG ON REPEAT 

**strony:**   ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lee donghyuck:**  um guys I'm the REAL victim here 

**lee donghyuck:** first taeil-hyung came in to blast music in MY room

**lee donghyuck:**  then he wouldn't let me go out 

**lee donghyuck:**  and then he wouldn't let me turn the music off 

**lee donghyuck:**  and if you can hear it next door it shows how loud it was 

**lee donghyuck:**  all of that and I still got played by y'all 

**lee donghyuck:**  thank god I didn't get played by taeyong-hyung 

**YT:**  oh right taeyong did it too 

**YT:**  a taste of your own medicine  **@TY**

**TY:** HEY I DIDN'T GO AS FAR AS THEM

**TY:**  THEY EVEN PUT UP A LIVE SHOW 

**ddoing:**  thanks thanks, I know 

**lee donghyuck:**  um can I please have some concern here 

**John Suh:** Oh, our Donghyuck. It must have been a tough day for you, haha!

**lee donghyuck:**  is it just me or is that "haha!" mocking me 

**lee minhyung:**  hahahahahahahaha 

**lee donghyuck:**  okay now  _that_  is definitely mocking me 

**lee minhyung:**  you're welcome 

**lee donghyuck:**  love you too :))))))))))))) 

**lee minhyung:**  I know 

**lee donghyuck:** seriously though, I'm gonna be forever haunted by neo got my back

**lee donghyuck:**  worst 20 minutes of my life 

**ddoing:** MINE TOO WTF

**strony:**  why? 

**strony:**  it's a great song

**strony:** you guys don't know the swag

**winning:**  yes 

**strony:**  aw yeah winwin got ma back 

**ddoing:**  honestly tho winwin would you listen to it 10 times in a row 

**winning:** no

**ddoing:**  SEE 

**strony:**  ouch 

**strony:**  ty is right 

**strony:**  no one got your back in this group 

**TY:**  RIGHT

**ddoing:** I do though

**ddoing:**  like literally

**strony:**  um tmi

**jaehyoons:**  care to elaborate? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**lee donghyuck:** spooning

**jaehyoons:**  gasps

**jaehyoons:**  how do you know

**lee donghyuck:**  saw it

**lee donghyuck:** was returning dongyoung-hyung's cup

**jaehyoons:**  I don't understand how you sound so calm

**jaehyoons:**  it's like NO ONE has ever seen them

**jaehyoons:**  maybe except Youngho-hyung

**lee donghyuck:**  idk how to explain it bro

**lee donghyuck:**  it just... makes you feel fluffy on the inside

**lee donghyuck:**  imagine touch mv

**lee donghyuck:** feathers flying

**jaehyoons:**  mmm

**jaehyoons:**  soft

**jaehyoons:** but who's the big spoon

**YT:**  isn't it obvious?

**YT:**  taeil-hyung's arms wouldn't even reach the front

**strony:**  ouch?

**lee minhyung:**  HAHAHA

**YT:**  noooo I just mean dongyoung's back is too wide

**YT:**  y'know? like the pacific ocean?

**ddoing:**  oh yes yuta-hyung knows best ;)

**jaehyoons:** if I go now can I catch a glimpse of them spooning

**strony:**  idk, you can try your luck

**jaehyoons:**  ???

**TY:**  CAN I TRY MY LUCK TOO

**ddoing:**  no

**TY:**  I say this is discrimination

**ddoing:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

[In reply to  _TY: CAN I TRY MY LUCK TOO_ ]   
 **strony:**  sure, by all means

**TY:**  HAH  **@ddoing**

**TY:** as expected taeil-hyung is the best

**ddoing:**  sure

**ddoing:**  I still don't know why you guys are so curious though

**ddoing:**  like, I'm being myself and Taeil-hyung is himself

**ddoing:**  that's it

**jaehyoons:**  exactly

**jaehyoons:**  we can't imagine how you two would work out together

**ddoing:**  I don't work out

**strony:** exactly

**strony:**  we don't work out together

**jaehyoons:**  ................

**lee minhyung:**  OOOOF THAT PUN THO

**jaehyoons:**  mark please don't react

**jaehyoons:**  you're spurring him on

**lee donghyuck:**  BREAKING NEWS

**lee donghyuck:** live updates by reporter lee donghyuck here

**lee donghyuck:**  the room next door has been barged into by a man in his early-mid twenties

**lee donghyuck:**  and we hear him going "ahh, seriously?! what is this?!"

**lee donghyuck:** with that, comes laughter from two other men also of similar age

**lee donghyuck:**  a certain mr. kim says, "sorry, better luck next time!"

**lee donghyuck:**  and that is the end of today's live updates.

**lee donghyuck:**  thank you for tuning in!

**jaehyoons:**  HAHAHA

**jaehyoons:**  can't believe he actually went

**jaehyoons:**  what made him think that they'd  _actually_  be spooning

**lee donghyuck:**  hey, r u sayin I gave a false report?!

**jaehyoons:**  ... yes?

**lee donghyuck:**  ouch

**lee donghyuck:**  I wasn't lying tho

**lee minhyung:** seriously?!

**lee minhyung:**  I thought you were kidding too

**jaehyoons:**  ... well

**jaehyoons:** the truth remains a secret to the three of them

**ddoing:** it's not a secret though?

**ddoing:**  donghyuck already said it

**jaehyoons:**  WHAT

**jaehyoons:**  wait

**jaehyoons:**  then what did Taeyong-hyung see?!

**strony:**  just wait for it

**TY:**  UGH

**TY:**  SO ANNOYED

**TY:**  AGAIN

**strony:** speak of the devil

**ddoing:** HAHAHAHAHA

[In reply to  _jaehyoons: then what did Taeyong-hyung see?!_ ]  
 **TY:** WHAT DID I SEE?

**TY:**  NOTHING

**TY:**  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

**strony:**  well you saw us both

**TY:**  UH YEAH

**TY:**  DONGYOUNG LYING ON THE BED

**TY:** AND YOU SITTING ON THE CHAIR

**TY:**  WHICH IS FUCKING NOTHING

**strony:**  HAHAHAHA

**strony:**  I just said you could try your luck

**TY:**  UGH

**TY:**  JUST GET EACH OTHER'S BACK OK 

**TY:**  NO ONE CAN HAVE MINE 

**TY:**  ESPECIALLY NOT YOU TWO

**YT:**  not even me?

**TY:**  NO

**YT:**  ok then can I have your front instead?

**YT:**  even better

**YT:**  it has your face on it

**TY:**  oh...

**jaehyoons:**  oh my god

**ddoing:**  I BET TAEYONG'S HEART IS SHAKING

**TY:**  shut up

**TY:**  bye

**jaehyoons:**  as expected of neo culture trash

**jaehyoons:**  what a mess, again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um HAHA. I actually didn't even start writing this on april fools'. I started like a few days ago lol. but it was a perfect theme so here! and it's chapter 3 and guess what? every chapter, doyoung still disappears from the chat room LOLOL. please look forward to the day that he doesn't leave OR get kicked out.


	4. four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay guys the weirdest shit happened, like in 180414 nct's night night with doyoung, doyoung said something about how jaehyun's room is right beside his and the walls are really thin because it was originally one room and they split it with a separator, and that when jaehyun plays music on his speakers he can hear it from his room (and therefore doyoung doesn't play music on his own speakers because the sound overlaps). if you guys didn't know, jaehyun and donghyuck are roommates, and if you read chapter 3... I honestly had no idea about the room layout and wow am I psychic or what.
> 
> also, this chapter is to thank you guys for 100 kudos!!!

 

**TY:** have you guys ever wondered why we hold so much significance to the number 10

**TY:**  like a 10th anniversary is more significant than an 11th 

**TY:**  10 ones make a ten and 10 tens make a hundred 

**TY:**  who decided that 10 is so important? 

**TY:**  like why do we use the decimal system and not binary or hex or something? 

**YT:**  ask  **@John Suh**

**TY:** why youngho?

**YT:**  because chittaphon leechaiyapornkul 

**John Suh:**  Oh Yuta, you know me best :)

**TY:**  ... yukkuri 

**TY:**  I know ten is important in nct but I'm serious 

**TY:** why does our society think that 10 is such a milestone number??

**ddoing:**  because we have ten fingers

**TY:** oh

**jaehyoons:**  that... actually makes a lot of sense 

**lee minhyung:**  wait a minute idgi 

**winning:**  we count with our fingers 

**lee minhyung:**  ohhhhhhhhhhh damn  

**lee minhyung:**   **@ddoing** hyung you're a genius 

**lee donghyuck:**  no mark you're just dumb 

**lee minhyung:**  lee donghyuck 

**lee donghyuck:**  oh wow look 

**lee donghyuck:** mark is so scary now that he's an adult

**lee minhyung:** lee donghyuck.

**lee donghyuck:**  I'm here, why do you keep calling me? 

**lee minhyung:**  . 

**ddoing:**  excuse me mr. lee 

**ddoing:**  why do you keep pissing my son off? 

**ddoing:**  he's already stressed enough, he doesn't need you to add on to it 

**lee donghyuck:**  but mrs mark's mom 

**lee donghyuck:**  I AM  _already_ the source of his stress 

**lee donghyuck:**  I'm not adding on to it 

**ddoing:**  wow 

**ddoing:** young man

**ddoing:**  did you leave your manners at home? 

**lee donghyuck:**  but I  _am_ at home now! 

**lee donghyuck:**  in the room right next to yours 

**jaehyoons:** can confirm, am roommate

**ddoing:** jae

**ddoing:**  ok so now spill 

**ddoing:**  what did you two fight about this time 

**lee donghyuck:**  who? 

**lee donghyuck:**  me? 

**ddoing:**  yes you 

**lee donghyuck:**  I didn't fight with anyone what are you talking about

**ddoing: @lee minhyung**  your turn 

**lee minhyung:** we didn't fight

**ddoing:** wow okay

**TY:**  just let the kids figure it out themselves 

**TY:**  that's how they learn to love each other more 

**TY:**  am I right  **@strony**? 

**ddoing:**  fine 

**strony:**  what does that have to do with me 

**TY:**  isn't that how you two became closer? :))))))) 

**strony:**  me? with who? 

**TY:**  wow why is everyone playing the ignorant card today 

**TY:** yes you hyung

**TY:**  with dongyoung 

**TY:**  you just have to make me say it huh 

**strony:**  ? 

**strony:**  we are not close 

**ddoing:**  lol true 

**ddoing:**  he doesn't even know my favourite colour 

**TY:**  isn't it purple? 

**ddoing:**  exactly 

**ddoing:**  this is why I say you'll be my best friend in 10 years :') 

**TY:**  um no thx 

**strony:**  well now I know 

**ddoing:**  and you're gonna forget in an hour 

**strony:**  maybe ten minutes 

**ddoing:**  wow 

**jaehyoons:**  what a shipwreck 

**TY:**  NOOOOOOOO

**TY:**  my ship must sail on 

**John Suh:**  Don't worry, they're sure to sail :) 

**ddoing:**  ... hyung 

**ddoing:**  how are you sure of something that I'm not even sure of myself 

**TY:** how could you say that??

**TY:**  if I see taeil-hyung upset you're dead

**ddoing:**  what? 

**ddoing:**  we agreed on it wtf 

**YT:**  you agreed on what??? 

**ddoing:**  on the fact that we don't know how things will turn out 

**strony:**  well people are fickle and we change 

**strony:**  so why make promises you can't keep

**TY:**  ......

**TY:**  wow

**TY:**  I always thought you guys had  _something_

**TY:** but it's not even worth a promise???

**TY:**  that's tragic 

**TY:** like, really

**YT:**  taeyong... 

**YT:** I thought you said to let them figure out themselves

**YT:**  why are you being like this now? 

**TY:**  imagine I told you that I like you, but only for now 

**TY:**  I can't guarantee anything about the future 

**TY:**  how would you feel? 

**YT:**  that's true, I wouldn't be happy 

**YT:**  but if both of them are fine with it, I think we should respect their decision 

**TY:**  look I just think that they're depriving themselves of true happiness 

**TY:**  I just want them to be happy 

**TY:**  but whatever you say, yuuta 

**strony:**  can you guys like not fight because of us 

**strony:**  our relationship is but an insignificant part of your lives 

**strony:**  please don't take it too seriously 

**ddoing:**  ^ what he said 

**ddoing: @TY**  fine I won't meddle with mark's relationship okay so please leave us alone too

**TY:**  okay 

**TY:**  I hope you guys are happy 

**TY:**  for real 

**lee minhyung:**  umm... bad timing but 

**lee minhyung:**  anyone wants pizza tonight? 

**jaehyoons:**  me 

**jaehyoons:**  thanks mark 

**lee minhyung:**  ... am I buying? 

**jaehyoons:**  no I mean for ending that intense convo 

**jaehyoons:**  BUT I'm not rejecting your offer :))) 

**lee minhyung:**  let's just have the deliveryman pick the card okay 

**jaehyoons:**  call 

**ddoing:**  me too 

**ddoing:** hawaiian plz

**jaehyoons:**  yassssss 

**lee minhyung:**  okay is one large enough for y'all to share? 

**ddoing:**  barely, maybe 

**ddoing:**  the more the merrier :)) 

**lee minhyung:**  ??? you guys that hungry? 

**ddoing:**  if you count jae me and taeil-hyung that's like 2.6667 slices per person 

**lee minhyung:**  oh right your plus one 

**lee minhyung:**  can you guys finish two tho 

**lee minhyung:**  donghyuck doesn't like pineapples so... 

**ddoing:**  oh 

**ddoing:**  thought you two were fighting 

**lee minhyung:**  nope we're good

**lee donghyuck:**  WELL tbh we  _were_

**lee donghyuck:** but not anymore

**ddoing:** should've said so earlier

**ddoing:**  look at the discussion you guys instigated 

**ddoing:**  now TY and YT are probably having a cold war 

**winning:**  no yuta-hyung went to find taeyong-hyung 

**jaehyoons:**  thank heavens 

**lee minhyung: @winning**  winwin-ge pizza? 

**winning:**  sure 

**lee minhyung:**  hawaiian good with you? 

**winning:**  anything 

**lee minhyung:**  alriiiiiiiiiight 

**lee minhyung: @John Suh**  bro you up for pizza? 

**John Suh:**  No thank you, I've got a dinner date :) 

**lee minhyung:**  oh? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**John Suh:**  Not with him, if that's what you're hinting at. 

**John Suh:**  Though, I should probably catch up with him soon. 

**jaehyoons:**  you guys literally text all the time 

**jaehyoons:**  what's there to catch up on?

**jaehyoons:** each other's face?

**ddoing:**  HAHAHAHAHA 

**ddoing:**  maybe not just the face ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**strony:**   ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**strony:**  then what else ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**ddoing:** well

**ddoing:**  up to your imagination ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**John Suh:**  Guys...

**John Suh:** He's right, I'll leave it up to your imagination :)

**ddoing:**  shit I just imagined it 

**ddoing:**  how can I unsee this 

**strony:**  I can help you ;) 

**ddoing:**  oh no not again 

**jaehyoons:**  UM  **@strony**  hyung pls 

**strony:**  what? I didn't say anything 

**ddoing:**  playing the innocent card I see 

**ddoing:**  I'll make sure everyone knows what you really are 

**ddoing:** someday, just wait

**strony:**  oh but do you really? 

**strony:**  don't you want to keep it for yourself? 

**ddoing:**  no 

**ddoing:**  they need to stop thinking you're some harmless teddy bear 

**ddoing:**  cuz you are NOT 

**strony:**  oh really? 

**strony:**  understood 

**ddoing:**  I MEAN 

**ddoing:**  that you're an  _evil_ teddy bear 

**ddoing:**  but still a teddy bear 

**strony:**  tsk tsk 

**lee minhyung:**  can someone please explain this conversation 

**jaehyoons:**  sorry bro even I don't get it 

**John Suh:**  I'm wondering if I'm allowed to answer this... 

**ddoing:**  NOT AGAIN 

**strony:**  yes you are 

**ddoing:**  excuse me??? 

**ddoing:**  have you asked for my opinion?? 

**strony:**  not important 

**ddoing:** WHAT

**John Suh:**  So... Am I? 

**strony:**  yes 

**ddoing:**  SAVE ME PLS 

**lee donghyuck: @John Suh**  hyung we are waiting 

**jaehyoons:**  ^ 

**lee minhyung:**  ^ 

**John Suh:**  Well... Sorry Dongyoung. South Korea is a democratic country. 

**John Suh:**  It's just that if he says Taeil-hyung is not a teddy bear, he's probably not gonna be allowed to cuddle Taeil-hyung like a teddy bear. 

**ddoing:**  WHY DOES THIS FEEL LIKE DEJA VU 

**ddoing:**  save my soul pls 

**jaehyoons:**  awwwwwwwwwww that's soooooooo adorableeeee 

**lee minhyung:**  AWWWWWWWWW 

**lee minhyung:**  you are both my hyungs but Y'ALL ARE SO CUTE 

**lee donghyuck:**  wow... mark and I can't even compare 

**strony:**  AWWWWWWWW 

**strony:**  so you want to cuddle me like a teddy bear? ^^ 

**ddoing:**  FUCK OFF 

_**ddoing**  has left. _

**jaehyoons:** oh my god... Taeil-hyung....

**strony:**  yes? ^^ 

**lee donghyuck:**  I'm still shook 

**strony:**  oh, my ex-nihongo buddy 

**strony:**  what makes you say that you and mark can't compare? 

**strony:** is it because you haven't seen the way mark melts into a puddle at everything you do?

**jaehyoons:**  oh damn 

**jaehyoons:**  he's right 

**lee minhyung:**  wait what 

**lee minhyung:**  that's pretty random 

**lee donghyuck:**  and you're not denying it? 

**lee minhyung:**  well I mean it's not at  _everything_

**lee donghyuck:**  is it because I'm too hot for you? ;) 

**lee minhyung:**  woah woah hold up 

**lee minhyung:**  firstly, that's a bad joke 

**lee minhyung:**  secondly, that's quite narcissistic of you 

**jaehyoons:**  lol mark 

**jaehyoons:**  explain why you were shaking when he almost kissed you 

**lee minhyung:**  wait what? 

**strony:**  I saw it too 

**strony:**  and you didn't dodge 

**strony:**   ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**lee minhyung:**  of course I wouldn't dodge 

**lee minhyung:**  but I wasn't shaking 

**winning:**  don't lie I saw it too 

**lee minhyung:**  . 

**lee minhyung:**  okay 

**lee donghyuck:**  wait, really? 

**lee donghyuck:**  I was honestly just making a bad joke but... 

**lee minhyung:**  yes 

**lee minhyung:**  can we move on already 

**lee minhyung:**  like why isn't anyone adding Dongyoung-hyung back 

**jaehyoons:** AWWWWWWW

**jaehyoons:**  this chatroom is overflowing with fluff today 

**jaehyoons:**  what is happening 

[In reply to  _lee minhyung: like why isn't anyone adding Dongyoung-hyung back_ ]  
**strony:**  don't add him back 

**strony:**  that dude thinks someone is obliged to add him back every time he leaves the group 

**jaehyoons:**  okay I take that back 

**strony:** we shouldn't condone his attention seeking actions

**strony:**  one day he's gonna become like tAEAUrkehqgvh3gKQUG4IR 

**lee minhyung:**  woah what happened 

_**strony**  added  **ddoing**. _

**strony:**  hah 

**jaehyoons:**???

**ddoing:**  I mean 

**ddoing:**  hah 

**ddoing:**  what's the point in working out 

**ddoing:**  you still lose against my weak long arms 

**strony:**  it's nothing to do with the length or strength of your arms 

**strony:**  it's  _where_  you were shoving your hand 

**jaehyoons:** I don't want to know

**jaehyoons:** please

**strony:**  anyway as I was saying 

**strony:**  he's gonna become liKJBELIAEBdksjdbra 

**strony:**  I'm not becoming anything 

**strony:**  this hyung is seriously trying to start wwiii 

**ddoing:**  stop using my phone 

**strony:**  then stop talking shit here 

**ddoing:**  I'm so lame 

**strony:**  exactly 

**strony:**  everyone knows I'm using your phone, Taeil-hyung. 

**jaehyoons:**  maybe this sounds sadistic 

**jaehyoons:**  but I love watching them argue 

**jaehyoons:**  even more entertaining than TY-hyung's drama 

**lee donghyuck:** same bro

**lee donghyuck:**  thought I was the only one 

**ddoing:**  I give up 

**ddoing:**  android phones are so hard to use 

**strony:**  that's because iphones are idiot-proof 

**strony:**  suits you just nice 

**ddoing:**  wow I'd watch out if I was you 

**ddoing:**  literally only you and mark don't use an iphone in this chat

**lee minhyung:**  ayyyyyy galaxy bros  **@strony**

**strony:** ayyyyyy

**strony: @ddoing**  just cos iphones are idiot-proof doesn't mean smart people can't use them 

**strony:**  doesn't apply to you though 

**winning:** doyoung-hyung is smart tho

**ddoing:**  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  **@strony**

**strony:** </3 winwin

**strony:**  why are you betraying your roommate 

**winning:** because you bully me everyday

**strony:**  that's my love for you 

**winning:** stop lying

**strony:**  I love you winwin 

**winning:**  go away 

**John Suh:** It's funny how the only person Taeil-hyung professes his love for rejects him so harshly, hahaha

**strony:**  it's not funny 

**strony:**  it's tragic 

**winning:**  HAHAHA 

**strony:**   </33333 

**ddoing:**  HAHAHAHA

**strony:** STFU

**winning:** love you doyoung-hyung

**ddoing:** love you too winwin

**ddoing:** so who's the real loser here  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**strony:** friendship over, winko

**winning:** okay bye bye

**strony:**  wait no 

**ddoing:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

**strony: @ddoing** FUCK YOU

**jaehyoons:** ooooooo savage

**jaehyoons:** nice one my pengyou

**lee donghyuck:** oh yassss welcome winwin-ge to the savage club

**YT:** savage club president here

**YT:** oh winwin you are coldly welcomed

**YT:** cuz like we don't do things warm in the savage club

**winning:** lame joke

**YT:** oh yes savage indeed

**lee minhyung:** wait so Yuta-hyung

**lee minhyung:** you settled things with Taeyong-hyung already?

**YT:** yea of course

**TY:** hi

**TY:**  I decided what yukkuri said makes sense so I'll let you two do your own thing  **@ddoing @strony**

**TY:** but still stands that if I see taeil-hyung upset I'm gonna stab you dongyoung

**ddoing:**  wow thanks for the love 

**ddoing:**  then what happens if I'm upset 

**strony:**  figure it out yourself obviously 

**strony:**  thanks taeyong :) 

**ddoing:**  wow 

**ddoing:**  this is why I say every man for himself 

**ddoing:**  cuz no one is on my side, ever 

**lee donghyuck:**  you have donghyuck desu 

**lee donghyuck:**  ^^ 

**ddoing:**  thanks but you don't seem like you can do anything to Taeil-hyung 

**winning:**  you have me 

**strony:**  WINKO 

**strony:**  NOOOOOOOOO 

**jaehyoons:**  seems like one winwin is enough to kill Taeil-hyung on the inside 

**jaehyoons:**  he doesn't even need to do anything 

**ddoing:**  awwwww thanks winwin :') 

**ddoing:**  buy you dinner tomorrow 

**winning:**  yay thanks hyung 

**strony:**  WINKO I CAN BUY YOU FOOD TOO 

**strony:**  DON'T FALL FOR THE MONETARY TEMPTATIONS 

**winning:**  no thx 

**winning:**  I see ur face enough in the room 

**lee donghyuck:**  apply cold water to burnt area 

**YT:**  what about me??  **@winning**

**winning:** hi yuta-hyung

**YT:**  do you want me to buy you food too?? 

**winning:**  haha sure 

**YT:**  OOOOOOOOO 

**YT:** I think you need burn heal, cold water ain't enough  **@strony**

**TY:** speaking of dinner, I'm hungry

**lee minhyung:**  oh shit 

**lee minhyung:**  we ordered pizza but not for you and Yuta-hyung 

**lee minhyung:**  cuz you guys were having an intense talk, I think 

**TY:**  NOOOOOOOO </333

**TY:**  we only talked for like 15 minutes then we were just enjoying our alone time 

**ddoing:**  should have checked your phones ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**TY:**  you guys could have asked in person... :( 

**jaehyoons:**  god knows what we could have seen 

**John Suh:**  Well that's perfect then, you guys can enjoy more alone time over dinner.

**ddoing:** or just order something else in??

**ddoing:**  even better so we can have some variety 

**ddoing:**  I guess common sense is really not very common

**TY:** BITCH even if we order in we ain't sharing with y'all

**TY:**  that's for excluding us 

**ddoing:**  alright man do what you want 

**ddoing:**  I'm just gonna have my pizza 

**lee minhyung:** pizza should be coming any time now

**lee minhyung:**  get ready your cards guys 

**lee minhyung: @strony @ddoing @jaehyoons @winning @lee donghyuck  
**

**jaehyoons:** okay

**jaehyoons:**  but thanks mark in advance 

**lee minhyung:** wait what why

**jaehyoons:**  idk man it's just a feeling 

**ddoing:**  oh damn 

**ddoing:**  jae has pretty good intuition 

**ddoing:**  thanks mark 

**lee minhyung:**  woah woah hold up 

**lee minhyung:**  you guys gonna be shook if the guy picks yours okay 

**lee donghyuck:**  thanks mark  <3 

**winning:** thanks mark you're my fav

**strony:**  thanks marky mark ^^ 

**lee minhyung:** WOAH OKAY

**lee minhyung:**  we'll see man 

**lee donghyuck:**  oh I think that's the pizza man 

**John Suh:**  Please update me about the results, this is so entertaining for some reason. 

**lee minhyung:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**lee minhyung:**  it wasn't me 

**lee minhyung:**  when the guy picked his card he was like grabbing the guy's arm and like 

**lee minhyung:**  "are you sure?? ARE YOU SURE???"

**ddoing:**  HAHAHAHAHA 

**ddoing:**  man the guy's face was just like "fuck off pls I just gotta do my job okay" 

**John Suh:**  Unfortunately... That sounds exactly like what Taeil-hyung would do. 

**ddoing:**  THAT'S RIGHT HAHAHAHHAHAHA 

**strony:**  :) 

**strony:**  you guys better enjoy every single piece of pizza 

**strony:** :)

**ddoing:**  take a chill pill man

**strony:** especially you :)

**strony:**  500 won for every crumb you drop 

**ddoing:**  ... this hyung seriously 

**ddoing:**  I'll buy the next time we eat together okay 

**lee donghyuck:** in my humble opinion

**lee donghyuck:**  I think taeil-hyung needs a cuddle right now 

**lee donghyuck:**  ahem 

**lee donghyuck:**  hurry up 

**lee donghyuck:**  why are you not moving?!

**ddoing:**  who? 

**lee donghyuck:**  YOU 

**lee donghyuck:**  everyone in this chat likes to feign stupidity I see 

**John Suh:**  Well, I'd do it but I'm not there, so... :) 

**strony:**  can I get a cuddle from winko 

**winning:**  no 

**winning:**  ask doyoung-hyung 

**lee minhyung:**  awwwww look at how Taeil-hyung is smiling 

**lee minhyung:**  I think Dongyoung-hyung just has that effect on him 

**YT:**  what about winko though

**jaehyoons:**  I think he really likes to play and hang out with Winwin 

**jaehyoons:**  but with Dongyoung-hyung it's different 

**lee donghyuck:**  yeah same 

**lee donghyuck:**  like winwin-ge is a little brother he really loves 

**lee donghyuck:**  but then dongyoung-hyung is like 

**lee donghyuck:**  idk how to describe it 

**lee donghyuck:**  like they don't necessarily spend a lot of time together 

**jaehyoons:**  but they just  _get_ each other? 

**lee donghyuck:** YES

**lee donghyuck:**  ooooooo hyung nice chemistry we have here 

**jaehyoons:**  yes but I wouldn't say that if I were you 

**lee minhyung:**  eyyyyy I'm not that sensitive 

**lee minhyung:**  and I agree btw 

**lee minhyung:**  like they just get each other 

**lee minhyung:**  somehow 

**lee minhyung:**  though they seem very different 

**jaehyoons:**  I think it's like what Youngho-hyung said the other time 

**jaehyoons:**  that they acknowledge and accept their differences 

**lee minhyung:**  yeah and in a way they have similar values too 

**lee minhyung:**  like valuing each other's individuality 

**lee minhyung:** that's why they can agree on accepting their differences

**lee minhyung:**  y'know what I mean?

**strony:** you guys are aware that I can see all of this right

**lee donghyuck:**  yes and? 

**strony:**  just eat your damn pizza 

**strony:**  else I'm gonna extend the 500 won fine to you guys too 

**winning:**  if I give you 500 won will you stay off my bed tonight

**strony:**  of course not ^^

**winning: @ddoing**  hyung can we switch rooms

**YT:**  NO

**YT:**  I don't wanna be a lightbulb

**TY:**  come to my room

**TY:**  we can kick youngho out

**ddoing:**   **@winning**  I can take Yuta-hyung's place

**ddoing:**  I can protect you from Taeil-hyung

**winning:**  yes pls

**strony: @ddoing**  fuck off

**strony:**  why are you getting in the way of my fun times with winko

**winning:**  fun times?

**winning:**  my ass

**TY:**  who taught you that winwin

**winning:**  taeil-hyung

**strony:**  ME?

**winning:**  when you talk to doyoung-hyung

**strony:**  that's because he says too much bullshit

**winning:**  you too

**lee donghyuck:**  I feel bad for interrupting but

**lee donghyuck:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**ddoing:**  finally

**ddoing:**  I have a comrade

**winning:**  yes hyung

**strony:**  winko

**strony:**  see you tonight

**ddoing:**  bring it on bitch

**jaehyoons:**  right...

**jaehyoons:**  I knew there was no way a day would end peacefully

**jaehyoons:** as expected of neo culture trash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally wrote all my thoughts out in this chapter wow like I seriously wondered what is the significance of 10 and answered it myself and also those are my real perceptions of taeil-doyoung-winwin's dynamics. Sorry if it got boring towards the end, cpr didn't work :(


	5. five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy belated birthday Donghyuck!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow time flies, I haven't updated in 2 months but tbh I am running dry (just like my sense of humour ha ha ha) and if you guys haven't realised, this fic is like 50% doil and 50% other ships. also do check out the updated tags!

 

 

**TY:** weekly gratitude time

**TY:** thanks  **@winning** for giving me water during prac :D

**winning:** no prob hyung

**winning:** my mother taught me to help old people

**TY:** UM EXCUSE ME

**TY:**  I said GRATITUDE time not ROAST time

**winning:** beijing roast duck

**winning:**  I wanna eat

**jaehyoons:**  I'm hungry

**ddoing:**  let's go

**ddoing:**  chinese restaurant

**TY:**  GUYS

**TY:**  if I'm old what does that make taeil-hyung tho

**ddoing:**  older

**ddoing:**  obviously

**strony:**  I don't see him giving me water

**winning:** my mother also tell me to stay away from weird uncles

**strony:**  disowned

**winning:**  yay finally

**ddoing:**  HAHAHAHAHA

**ddoing:**  I love u winwin

**TY:**  BACK TO THE MAIN TOPIC GUYS

**TY:**  your turn  **@winning**

**winning:** thanks  **@ddoing** hyung for treating me lunch

**winning:** I promise to be loyal

**ddoing:**  u da best winko  <3

**YT:**  excuse me winko is  _my_ nickname for sicheng

**strony:**  um no?? it's  _our_ nickname

**ddoing:**  god these hyungs can't grow the fuck up

**ddoing:**  fine, u da best winwin~

**ddoing:** also I would like to thank  **@lee minhyung** for turning off the lights

**lee minhyung:**  no prob bro

**ddoing:**  also would need your assistance in future

**lee minhyung:**  I expected that much lol

**lee minhyung:**  I mean, I love being a filial child

**lee minhyung:**  who wouldn't climb down and up the upper bunk bed just to turn off lights for their mum?

**ddoing:**  marrrrrrrrk :(

**ddoing:**  I know it's tough that's why I gotta thank you y'know

**strony:**  I don't see you thanking me for putting up with your shit

**ddoing:**  stfu hyung

**ddoing:**  you should be the one thanking me for putting up with  _your_ shit

**lee minhyung:**  hahahaha

**lee minhyung:** honestly, I'm okay with it

**lee minhyung:**  also thanks  **@lee donghyuck** for last night

**lee minhyung:**  I didn't think it'd feel so good

**lee minhyung:**  it felt so much better than I could've imagined

**jaehyoons:**  wait

**jaehyoons:**  I can't be the only one

**YT:**  lmao

**strony:**  now this is the quality content I signed up for

**ddoing:**  oh, wow

**ddoing:**  my kids all grown up

**TY:**  WHAT THE FUCK

**TY:**  DID YOU TWO JUST???

**TY:**  MARK'S MOM WHY ARE YOU SO CALM

**TY:** DONGHYUCK IS LITERALLY UNDERAGE

**strony:** lmao taeyong

**TY:**  WHAT

**TY:**  MY KIDS...

**TY:** THEY CAN'T

**jaehyoons:**  what makes you think they'd actually announce it here if it was real

**jaehyoons:**  knowing exactly how you'd react LOL

**TY:**  YOU NEVER KNOW

**TY:**  KIDS CAN BE REBELLIOUS

**ddoing:** I like how neither of them are explaining themselves

**ddoing:**  pretty sure you just fed the trolls  **@TY**

**TY:** like I said YOU NEVER KNOW

**lee donghyuck:**  dude relax

**lee donghyuck:**  I brought him to a spa, that's all

**lee donghyuck:**  poor mark has never had a proper massage

**lee donghyuck:** also thanks for falling for it  **@TY**

**lee donghyuck:** HAHAHAHA

**lee minhyung:**  I did good right

**lee donghyuck:**  yes marky mark 

**TY:**  ....

**TY:**  I hate all of you

**TY:**  for real

**YT:**  but I didn't do anything

**TY:**  you

**TY:**  I'm only letting this go because you're hugging me rn

**ddoing:**  ew tmi

**lee donghyuck:**  agreed

**YT:** I find it mildly offensive that no one "awwww"s at us

**ddoing:**  that's bc u guys are gross

**John Suh:**  Awwww, what a cute couple :)

**strony:**  youngho why

**John Suh:**  Well, Yuta asked for it...

**lee donghyuck:**  gross

**lee donghyuck:** anyway

**lee donghyuck:**  thanks  **@jaehyoons** for being the best roomie ever

**jaehyoons:**  ayyyyy

**jaehyoons:**  same to you

**TY:**  I am not just mildly offended

**lee minhyung:** same

**ddoing:**  hate to agree with taeyong but same

**lee donghyuck:**  my mum taught me to enjoy the present and not dwell over the past

**lee donghyuck:**  clearly my current roomie is jaehyun-hyung, so

**lee minhyung:**  but your current boyfriend is me

**lee donghyuck:** well yea

**lee donghyuck:**  but still not my roomie

**lee minhyung:**  fine, logic accepted

**jaehyoons:**  I can almost sense that Donghyuck just did some aegyo to appease Mark

**lee donghyuck:** best roomie, indeed

**jaehyoons:** awwwwwwwwwww

**jaehyoons:**  I bet Mark is melting again

**John Suh:**  Awwwwwwwww~

**lee minhyung:**  no

**lee donghyuck:**  yes you are

**lee minhyung: @jaehyoons**  move on pls

**ddoing:**  awwwwwww my kids are so adorable

**jaehyoons:**  alright, I'd thank  **@John Suh** for saving my ass on radio

**jaehyoons:**  I said the wrong line but he saved it for me

**lee minhyung:**  awwwwwwwwwww

**jaehyoons:**  ..?!

**lee minhyung:**  heartwarming friendship there

**ddoing:**  ugh

**ddoing:**  am allergic to fluff can we pls move on

**John Suh:**  Thank you  **@strony** hyung for being such an adorable teddy bear :)

**ddoing:** ew

**strony:**  aww

**strony:** you don't have to thank me

**strony:**  I don't even have to try

**John Suh:** :)

**ddoing:**  EW

**strony:**  stop being a hater

**winning:**  ew

**strony:**  ??!!

**strony: @ddoing**  stop being a bad influence to winko

**ddoing:**  I did nothing wtf

**winning:**  stop flirting  **@strony @ddoing**

**winning:** gross

**jaehyoons:**  AHAHAHAHAHAHHA

**ddoing:**??????

**winning:**  don't act like you don't think taeil hyung is cute

**jaehyoons:** omg

**jaehyoons:** finally someone speaks the truth

**ddoing:**  stfu jae

[In reply to _winning: don't act like you don't think taeil hyung is cute_ ]  
**strony:** OOOOOOOO

**strony:**  sm3xposed

**lee minhyung:**  duuuuuuuuude how ancient is that

**lee minhyung:** who even says that these days

**strony:**  ME

**strony:**  fite me

**ddoing:**  so mature hyung

**strony:**  Did you mean  _so cute hyung_?

**ddoing:**  STOP

**ddoing:**  using those ancient af memes

**YT:**  I love how dongyoung doesn't deny it

**ddoing:**  neither did I confirm it

[In reply  _YT: I love how dongyoung doesn't deny it_ ]  
**strony:**  bc it's the truth duh

**jaehyoons:**  I also love how confident Taeil-hyung is

**ddoing:**  idk where he gets that baseless confidence

**strony:** from youngho calling me cute on a daily basis

**John Suh:** You're welcome ;)

**lee minhyung:** why doesn't anyone ask Youngho-hyung to stop flirting with Taeil-hyung?

**lee donghyuck:** because we all know taeil-hyung would pick sicheng-ge over youngho-hyung in a heartbeat

**lee minhyung:**  oh okay true

**John Suh:**  Ouch...

**YT:**  I love how dongyoung is not even in the equation

**ddoing:** why should I be inside?

**TY:** okay next  **@strony**

**TY:** sick and tired of your denial bullshit  **@ddoing**

**strony:** oh, I want to thank  **@TY** for always prioritizing our team

**TY:** :')

**TY:**  thank you for even noticing

**John Suh:**  I think we all did :)

**jaehyoons:**  wow the atmosphere is so warm today

**jaehyoons:**  what's wrong with us today

**jaehyoons:**  Dongyoung-hyung hasn't even left or gotten kicked out of the chat

[In reply to  _jaehyoons: Dongyoung-hyung hasn't even left or gotten kicked out of the chat_ ]  
**strony:**  I can make that happen though 

**lee minhyung:** oh no

**lee minhyung:**  not again

[In reply to  _jaehyoons: wow the atmosphere is so warm today_ ]  
**lee minhyung:**  you know why? 

**lee minhyung:**  because...

**lee minhyung:**  IT'S FULLSUN DAY

**TY:**  AWWWWW MY BOYS :')

**lee donghyuck:**  I'm more surprised no one is being savage to me on my birthday tbh

**YT:**  yea well bc that's your job

**lee donghyuck:**  TRUE

**ddoing:**  we had our fair share of fun at midnight so

**lee donghyuck:**  DON'T

**lee donghyuck:**  SPEAK OF THAT

**lee donghyuck:**  ever

**lee donghyuck:**  again

**lee donghyuck:**  oh btw mark can I change my display name for today

**lee minhyung:**  discuss

**TY:**  AWWWWWW

**TY:**  can't believe they discuss their names!!!

**TY:**  how adorable can my kids get

**ddoing:**  stop trying to claim custody of my son bitch

**TY:**  YOU need to stop

**TY:**  they are clearly MY kids

**TY:**  who's the leader here huh

**ddoing:**  who does mark call mum huh

**ddoing:**  NOT YOU

**TY:**  the nice lady we met at his graduation

**TY:**  NOT YOU EITHER

**ddoing:**  she entrusted him to me so therefore I am his legal guardian in nct

**strony:**  you two sound like a divorced couple fighting for custody

**TY:**  EW

**ddoing:**  NO

**ddoing:**  I would never

**ddoing:**  EVER

**ddoing:** make babies with ty

**TY:**  exactly

**TY:**  not possible

**jaehyoons:**  well it  _is_ technically not possible

**jaehyoons:**  y'know, biologically

**TY:**  biologically or mentally or physically or psychologically or whatever

**TY:**  NOT POSSIBLE

**lee donghyuck**  changed his name to  **suekko**.

**lee minhyung**  changed his name to  **swaggo**.

**jaehyoons:**  oh god

**jaehyoons:**  wth is a swaggo

**jaehyoons:**  it's like

**jaehyoons:** jello with swag or smth

**swaggo:**  what's wrong with swaggy jello

**swaggo:**  don't discriminate

**jaehyoons:**  I know you did it just to be matchy but...

**jaehyoons:**  why

**suekko:**  konnichiwa

**suekko:**  watashi wa en shi ti ichi ni nana no suekko haechan desu~~~

**YT:** oh yes

**YT:**  good job

**suekko:**  yuuta sensei!

**suekko:**  hisashiburi!

**YT:**  okay

**YT:**  maybe not

**suekko:** aitakatta desu~

**YT:**  we literally saw each other 3 minutes ago

**suekko:**  yukkuri hanashi te kudasai~

**YT:**  okay

**YT:**  you're just writing whatever you learnt

**suekko:**  damn hyung you're smart

**YT:**  ...........

**YT:**  just letting it go bc it's your birthday

**suekko:**  ^^

**strony**  changed his name to  **swag**.

**swag: @swaggo**  I'm here for you

**swag:**  you can be the swaggo to my swag

**swaggo:**  AYYYYYYYY iri-hyung~

**jaehyoons:**  oh god no

**jaehyoons:**  at this rate someone's gonna name themselves dab

**winning**  changed his name to  **dab**.

**dab:**  yea me

**dab:**  dab swag bruh

**jaehyoons:**  holy shit this is like 2016 all over again

**ddoing**  changed his name to  **sweg**.

**sweg:**  ayyyyy sweg

**jaehyoons:**  OH MY GOD

**jaehyoons:** is this a hidden camera against me or smth

**jaehyoons:**  it's not even my birthday

**swaggo**  added  **swaginjun, swagno, swagjaem, CLswag** and  **jisungswegpwark**.

**swagno:**  happy birthday Hyuck

**swaginjun:**  HAPPY BIRTHDAY

**swaginjun:**  the prettiest, coolest person in the world who lights up the sky

**swaginjun:**  Renjun

**suekko:**  bitch

**swagjaem:**  happy birthday

**swagjaem:**  I hope you get stabbed by Jaehyun-hyung

**swagjaem:**  in the abdomen

**swagjaem:**  slow and steady death by bleeding

**jaehyoons:**  ...

**jaehyoons:** thanks for the idea

**jaehyoons:**  now I just need to figure out how to stab 9 people at once

**swagno:**  BYE! /dab

**swaginjun:**  BYE! /dab

**swagjaem:**  BYE! /dab

**swagno**  has left.

**swaginjun** has left.

**swagjaem**  has left.

**jaehyoons:**  oh god

**CLswag:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONGHYUCK HYUNG

**CLswag:** dab

**CLswag** has left.

**jaehyoons:**  HELP

**jisungswegpwark:**  happy birthday donghyuck

**jisungswegpwark:** old man

**jisungswegpwark:**  -dab-

**jaehyoons:** I'm dying

**suekko:**  bitch

**jisungswegpwark**  has left.

**TY:**  ...

**TY:**  did he really just call donghyuck an old man

**TY:**  I feel indirectly offended

**suekko:**  yeah suekko swag

**jaehyoons:**  I can't be the only one triggered by the dabbing

**John Suh**  changed his name to  **Foreign Swagger**.

**jaehyoons:**  WHAT THE

**jaehyoons:** not you too hyung

**Foreign Swagger:**  ... Dab?

**Foreign Swagger:**  I lived in America for 15 years, that's why I'm here man.

**jaehyoons:**   **@sweg**  is this why you leave the chat every other day

**jaehyoons:**  because I'm really tempted to rn

**sweg:**  aww yeah swag dab dab dab

**jaehyoons:**  OH MY GOD

**jaehyoons:**  I'm literally getting a migraine from this

**swaggo:**  be there or be square

**swaggo:**  and no one wants to be a square

**Foreign Swagger:** Mark...

**dab:**  dab

**jaehyoons:** **@TY @YT** are you guys not affected at all????

**TY:**  swag

**YT:**  dab

**jaehyoons:**  oh my god

**jaehyoons:**  you guys know I don't curse but

**jaehyoons:**  fuck this shit I'm out

**jaehyoons**  has left.

**dab:**  ooooooh

**dab:**  dab

**sweg:**  finally someone understands me

**swag:**  except you're part of this too

**sweg**  changed his name to  **kim dongyoung**.

**kim dongyoung:**  well yeah

**dab** changed his name to  **dong sicheng**.

**dong sicheng:**  yay

**kim dongyoung:**  yay

**swag:** winko why are you matching with him

**swag:**  listen to me and stay away from bad influence

**dong sicheng:**  you are the bad influence hyung

**kim dongyoung:**  exactly

**Foreign Swagger**  changed his name to  **Johnny**.

**Johnny**  added  **jaehyoons**.

**swaggo:**  wb

**jaehyoons:**  ...

**jaehyoons:**  I swear that felt like a hidden camera

**TY:**  it's just funny to see you so triggered

**TY:**  even I couldn't help it xD

**swag:** see  **@kim dongyoung**

**swag:** stop calling me sadistic

**swag:**  I'm not the only one

**kim dongyoung:**  that's different

**dong sicheng:**  agreed

**dong sicheng:**  you always flirting with doyoung-hyung

**kim dongyoung:**  wait what??????

**kim dongyoung:** you don't understand, sicheng

**kim dongyoung:**  he says those flirty things to make me uncomfortable

**dong sicheng:**  ya but he means it too

**jaehyoons:**  oooOOOOOOoooo

**jaehyoons:**  juicy

**TY:**  when will this chatroom stop being a gossip channel for taeil-hyung and dongyoung's relationship

**TY:**  I thought we already established that they have a thing

**TY:**  just not formally dating

**kim dongyoung:** what

**kim dongyoung:**  what thing

**TY:**  and would be nice if you stopped this denial bullshit

**kim dongyoung:**  wow rude

**jaehyoons:**  I disagree though

**jaehyoons:**  I always welcome more gossip :)

**YT:** we can make another chatroom just to discuss about them

**YT:**  be sure to invite youngho

**suekko:** INVITE ME TOO

**jaehyoons:**  lmao good idea

**jaehyoons:** but then no one is gonna talk here

**YT:**  doesn't matter

**TY:**  EXCUSE ME

**YT:**  we can invite you too

**TY:**  YES PLS

**jaehyoons:**  ?????

**jaehyoons:**  then why can't we just talk here???

**TY:**... TRUE

**swag**  changed his name to  **daltael**.

**daltael:**  since you guys are so curious

**daltael:**  I shall be nice and have an AMA

**Johnny:**  Someone enlighten me please, I only know American Music Awards...

**swaggo:**  Ask Me Anything

**swaggo:**  it's a thing on reddit 

[In reply to  _daltael: I shall be nice and have an AMA_ ]  
**kim dongyoung:**  HAVE YOU ASKED FOR MY OPINION 

**daltael:**  no

 

**kim dongyoung:**  EXCUSE ME

**daltael:**  excused

**jaehyoons: @daltael** so are you together with Dongyoung-hyung or not

**daltael:**  no

**YT:** so what would you classify your relationship with dongyoung as

**daltael:**  something special

**daltael:**  not really classifiable

**suekko:**  awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

**suekko:** that's so cute

**jaehyoons:**  on a scale of 1 to 10 how much does Youngho-hyung actually know

**daltael:**  I'd say 7

**Johnny:**  I'm honored!

**kim dongyoung:**  I like how I have no say in anything

**daltael:**  not a valid question

**kim dongyoung:**  fuck you

**daltael:**  anytime

**dong sicheng:** can you stop flirting

**daltael:**  with you?

**daltael:**  no :D

**dong sicheng:**  ...

**dong sicheng:**  blocked

**daltael:**  wait no

**suekko:** is dongyoung-hyung nice to cuddle with

**daltael:**  yes but I sometimes prefer squishing winko

**dong sicheng:**  blocked irl

**daltael:**  WAIT NO

**YT:**  who is the better kisser between you two

**daltael:**  which two? me and winko?

**dong sicheng:**  ew never

**YT:**  FUCK NO DON'T TAINT MY CHILD

**daltael:** sorry you gotta specify

**YT:**  YOU AND DONGYOUNG

**daltael:**  obviously me

**kim dongyoung:**  hahahahahahhahahahaha

**kim dongyoung:**  best joke of 2k18

**jaehyoons:**  one vote for Taeil-hyung

**YT:**  same

**TY:** same

**daltael:**  :')

**suekko:**  one vote for they're both terrible

**kim dongyoung:**  disowned

**suekko:**  was never your child

**kim dongyoung:**  it's okay guys

**kim dongyoung:**  as long as I know the truth

**swaggo: @daltael**  how did this special relationship start?

**swaggo:** was there like a moment you realised

**daltael:**  idk man it just happened

**TY:**   **@daltael** honestly do you find dongyoung hot **  
**

**daltael:**  yea?

**daltael:**  I mean you guys are all hot

**TY:**  okay how about like sexy

**kim dongyoung:**  yes

**YT:**  ew that confidence

**kim dongyoung:** thanks

**daltael:**  sometimes

**swaggo:**  UMMMMMMMM

**swaggo:**  someone just called my mum sexy

**swaggo:**  I can't handle this

**daltael:**  just being honest, my child

**swaggo:** wait so are you like my dad now?????

**TY:**  lol more like granddad, given his age

**daltael:**  ....

**daltael:**  lee taeyong you are literally just 12.5 months younger than me

**TY:**  yea??

**TY:**  that's a WHOLE YEAR AND MORE

**daltael:**  AMA over

**daltael:**  bye

**TY:**  WAIT

**TY:**  NOOOOOOOOOO

**TY:**  I haven't asked the most important question

**Johnny:** Welcome to Johnny's Ask Me Anything!

**kim dongyoung:**  can you please end this right now for the sake of my sanity

**Johnny:**  Send in your questions, guys!

**kim dongyoung:** HELLO???

**kim dongyoung:**  AM I INVISIBLE?????

**TY:**  THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION IS

**TY:**  DO THEY LOVE EACH OTHER

**TY:**  AS MORE THAN JUST BANDMATES

**Johnny:**  Just a moment!

**kim dongyoung:**  whAT THE actual fuck

**Johnny:** Taeil-hyung says, "Just a little bit."

**TY:**  AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

**TY:**  THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH EVEN IF THEY DON'T OFFICIALLY DATE

**kim dongyoung:**  DO I AT LEAST get to offer my input on this???

**daltael:** no

**kim dongyoung:** fuck off it's not your AMA

**daltael:** if you're just gonna say the same thing as me

**daltael:**  I'm going to kiss winko

**YT:**  HEY

**YT:**  STOP TAINTING MY CHILD I SAY

**dong sicheng:**  ......... why, just why

**kim dongyoung:**  I WAS GOING TO SAY

**kim dongyoung:** OBVIOUSLY

**kim dongyoung:**  THAT'S WHY YOU GUYS KEEP STIRRING SHIT

**kim dongyoung:**  now leave sicheng alone

**dong sicheng:**  thanks hyung

**kim dongyoung:**  no prob  <3

**jaehyoons:**   **@Johnny**  why do they refuse to show affection publicly

**kim dongyoung:**  what do you mean "publicly"

**kim dongyoung:**  we just don't at all

**jaehyoons:**  case in point: Donghyuck saw y'all spooning

**kim dongyoung:**  why not

**kim dongyoung:**  it's comfy

**kim dongyoung:** but I could do that with anyone

**daltael:**  you  _could_

**daltael:** but you do it with me cos I'm the squishiest

**daltael:**  uwu

**kim dongyoung:**  .................

**jaehyoons:**  holy shit

**jaehyoons:**  I am doubting my eyes right now

**jaehyoons:**  is this real life

 

**kim dongyoung: @Johnny**  hyung you really need to stop spoiling him

**kim dongyoung:**  his ego is gonna fly off the charts sooner or later

**Johnny:**  Well... He's not wrong though? ^^;

**kim dongyoung:**  STOP PLS

**TY:** I want to cuddle taeil-hyung too :(

**daltael:**  by all means

**YT:**  .

**kim dongyoung:**  no

**TY:**  AWWWW ARE YOU JEALOUS

**kim dongyoung:**  no

**kim dongyoung:**  you're also a contributor to his inflated ego

**kim dongyoung:**  pls stop

**TY:**  hahahahaha

**TY:** I know you are

**TY:**  it's okay you don't have to admit it

**kim dongyoung:** I'm not but hey, whatever floats ur boat bro

**kim dongyoung:**  but your good friend yuta might be

**TY:**  lol he's right here beside me

**TY:**  speaking of which

**TY:**  where did our two kids go

**jaehyoons:**  probably showing affection privately since it's Donghyuck's birthday

**jaehyoons:**  unlike... these two hyungs here

**daltael:** who?

**jaehyoons:**..... omg

**jaehyoons:** this is like dejavu-ception

**daltael:** me and kim dongyoung?

**daltael:** we show affection very well tho?

**daltael:** through telepathy

**jaehyoons:**......

**jaehyoons:** I was a fool

**jaehyoons:** to even have believed you for a second

**swaggo** added  **swagkun,**   **jungwooswag** and  **yukheiswag.**

**jungwooswag:** Happy birthday Donghyuck!

**yukheiswag:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONGHYUCK

**yukheiswag:** STAY HAPPY ALWAYS

**suekko:** thanks hyungs :)

**jaehyoons:** what are you guys doing here

**jungwooswag:** dabbing, that's what

**yukheiswag:** DAB OH

**jungwooswag** has left.

**yukheiswag** has left.

**jaehyoons:** I'm not okay, thanks for the concern

**swagkun:** Happy birthday little one!  **@suekko**

**suekko:** thank you!!

**swagkun:** I think I'm supposed to say dab

**swagkun:** byebye!

**swagkun** has left.

**jaehyoons:** what was that for

**swaggo** added  **SWAGGIESTEN**.

**SWAGGIESTEN:** THE SWAGGIEST OF ALL IS HERE TO GRACE YOU GUYS WITH MY SWAG

**SWAGGIESTEN:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONGHYUCK

**suekko:** thanks hyung!!

**suekko:** but your display name really looks like swaggies ten

**suekko:** and that doesn't sound swaggy at all

**SWAGGIESTEN:** SWAG IS AN ATTITUDE YOU EMBRACE AND THEREFORE I HAVE SWAG IF I SAY SO

**SWAGGIESTEN:** ALSO, HI JOHNNY ♡♡♡♡♡

**Johnny:** ♡♡♡♡♡

**SWAGGIESTEN:** AND  **@jaehyoons** THIS IS DEDICATED TO YOU: DABDABDABDABDAB

**SWAGGIESTEN:** OK BYE

**SWAGGIESTEN** has left.

**jaehyoons:** finally...

**jaehyoons:** I thought we were done after the dreamies

**suekko:** does it seem like we're done tho?

**swaggo:** dab

**jaehyoons** has left.

**kim dongyoung:** for a change I'm still here??

**kim dongyoung:** so I can say the closing lines

**kim dongyoung:** neo culture trash, what a mess

**kim dongyoung:** dab

**daltael** removed  **kim dongyoung**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suekko: maknae  
> hisashiburi: long time no see  
> aitakatta desu: I've missed you  
> yukkuri hanashi te kudasai: please speak slowly
> 
> I started writing this chapter on his birthday but it kinda accidentally took 3 weeks?? I didn't want to post it bc I didn't find it funny but I decided to fuck it anyway lol. Sorry if u cringed at the dabbing but that was the whole point HAHA.


	6. six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lee donghyuck: if I am vwv and together we are uwu, does that make mark-hyung owo?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not beta-ed

**TY** added **kim jungwoo**.

**lee minhyung** **:** ayy yo Jungwoos

**kim jungwoo:** sup

**kim dongyoung:** oh no

**kim dongyoung:** my child is gonna get tainted here

**jaehyoons:** as if he isn't already

**kim jungwoo:** what do you mean?

**jaehyoons:** do you really want me to summon him

**kim jungwoo:** yeah, why not?

**kim dongyoung:**...

**kim dongyoung:** jungwoo pls just ignore him

**lee minhyung:** UWU

**kim jungwoo:** oh, okay

**kim jungwoo:** what's UWU?

**kim jungwoo:** U Wearing Undies?

**Johnny:**... Even I don't make such bad dad jokes.

**kim jungwoo:** wait, what?

**lee minhyung:** MAJOR UWU

**kim jungwoo:** srsly can someone just tell me???

**lee donghyuck:** uwu

**lee donghyuck:** definition: kim jungwoo

**daltael:** I beg to differ, the definition of uwu is dong sicheng

**YT:** I bet that's not the only thing you beg for ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**kim dongyoung:** YUTA THERE ARE KIDS HERE

**YT:** what? I'm just saying he probably begs for winko's forgiveness, right?

**YT:** what are _you_ thinking ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**daltael:** oh kim dongyoung ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**kim dongyoung:** yeah okay whatever just don't taint my child

**TY:** why do you have so many children?

**TY:** first donghyuck, then mark, then jeno, and then now jungwoo

**TY:** and BY THE WAY, they are MY children

**kim jungwoo:** uhhhh I ain't any of your children

**kim jungwoo:** I have my own dad and mum thank you very much

**jaehyoons:** HAHAHA

**jaehyoons:** wow

**jaehyoons:** one moment he's uwu af and the next he's savage af

**jaehyoons:** I don't even know which is the real Jungwoo anymore

**kim jungwoo:** Jack, my love!

**kim jungwoo:** You jump, I jump~

**jaehyoons:** uh sorry my name is Jeffrey

**kim jungwoo:** b-but... J-Jack....

**jaehyoons:** uhhhhhhhhhhhh

**kim dongyoung:** wow that is a straight out rejection

**kim dongyoung:** did lucas pay you or smth **@jaehyoons**

**jaehyoons:** uhhhhh actually no but

**lee donghyuck:** with my detective skills, I conclude there are only two possibilities

**lee donghyuck:** the first being jaehyun-hyung is afraid of offending jungwoo-hyung's significant other

**lee donghyuck:** and the second being that jaehyun-hyung is interested in someone else

**kim jungwoo:** yukhei wouldn't hurt a fly

**kim jungwoo:** GASPS

**kim jungwoo:** jaehyun-hyung you're interested in someone?!!

**jaehyoons:** god I'M JUST JOKING

**jaehyoons:** you guys are taking this way too seriously

**kim dongyoung:** but are you really

**jaehyoons:** kim dongyoung

**kim dongyoung:** ouch, that respect

**jaehyoons:** :)))))

**daltael:** I can help you to kick dongyoung out of the chat

**kim dongyoung:** fuck off

**kim dongyoung:** go and beg for winwin's forgiveness or something and stop bothering me

**YT:** **@kim dongyoung** woah you sound jealous as fuck

**kim dongyoung:** STOP SWEARING IN FRONT OF MY KIDS

[In reply to _kim dongyoung: fuck off_ ]  
**YT:** excuse me???? who's the one???

**lee minhyung:** uhhh, as a representative of the kids I say it's fine

**lee minhyung:** hyungs please chill out

**kim jungwoo:** I'm starting to feel bad...

**kim jungwoo:** I feel like I started this

**TY:** don't worry

**TY:** it's not you

**TY:** we've been through worse before you joined lol

**YT:** yeah, it's mostly taeyong and dongyoung fighting lmao

**YT:** or dongyoung fighting with taeil-hyung

**jaehyoons:** mostly either Taeyong-hyung or Dongyoung-hyung overreacting lol

**TY:** EXCUSE YOU

**jaehyoons:** exactly

**TY:** HEY

**TY:** YOU LISTEN

**dong sicheng:** can I say something

**TY:** of course

**YT:** SAY SOMETHING? YOU CAN TALK THE WHOLE DAY AND I'LL STILL TUNE IN TO YOUR TED TALK

**dong sicheng:**... yea ok

**dong sicheng:** taeil-hyung went to beg for doyoung-hyung's forgiveness

**dong sicheng:** lmao

**TY:** typical

**lee minhyung:** I'm not sure he's begging tho

**jaehyoons:** what's happening, spill the tea please

**lee minhyung:** idk tbh, I got kicked out by Taeil-hyung

**lee minhyung:** it's p quiet and I'm not going to eavesdrop cuz that's just creepy

**lee donghyuck:** I swear I'm not creepy

**lee donghyuck:** I'm just... collecting evidence

**lee minhyung:** no one said anything about you babe

**lee minhyung:** way to expose yourself

**kim jungwoo:** BABE

**kim jungwoo:** THAT'S SO UWU Y'ALL

**lee minhyung:** oh wow, you found out what uwu means

**kim jungwoo:** I'm not stupid

**kim jungwoo:** at least I know how to use google

**kim jungwoo:** you nasty kids

**dong sicheng:** yeah, google is my best friend

**dong sicheng:** although maybe I'm a bit smarter

**kim jungwoo:** UWUUUUU

**kim jungwoo:** taeil-hyung is right though

**kim jungwoo:** sicheng-hyung IS the definition of uwu

**lee minhyung:** both of you are

**lee minhyung:** even though you are my hyungs

**lee donghyuck:** what about me ):

**jaehyoons:** you're vwv

**jaehyoons:** uwu but with sharp edges

**lee minhyung:** HAHAHAHA

**lee minhyung:** actually accurate

**lee donghyuck:** excuse me

**lee minhyung:** just accept the compliment, Hyuck

**lee minhyung:** at least we're saying that you're cute

**lee minhyung:** you're just not soft

**lee donghyuck:**... fine

**kim jungwoo:** awwww

**kim jungwoo: @lee minhyung** why aren't you calling him babe anymore?

**kim jungwoo:** are you conscious of it?

**lee minhyung:** that was a slip-up

**lee minhyung:** honestly I don't ever call him babe

**lee donghyuck:** can confirm

**kim jungwoo:** aww man :(

**kim jungwoo:** but you two are still uwu

**lee donghyuck:** if I am vwv and together we are uwu, does that make mark-hyung owo?

**Johnny:** Ngl that actually looks like Mark, owo.

**lee donghyuck:** youngho-hyung using modern chatspeak?!

**lee donghyuck:** what has the world become?!

**Johnny:** Ten educated me, lmao.

**lee donghyuck:** THIS IS TRIPPY AF

**kim dongyoung:** STOP SWEARING KIDS

**lee donghyuck:** why the heck do you only appear when I quote unquote swear???

**lee donghyuck:** AND I didn't even spell it out gosh

**lee donghyuck:** are all old people so sensitive

**kim dongyoung:** wow you're clearly trying to piss me off

**kim dongyoung:** and it's working

**lee minhyung:** uhhhhh damage control?

**lee minhyung:** **@daltael** ?

**kim dongyoung:** stop

**kim dongyoung:** I only just made up with him

**kim jungwoo:** aww you guys are so uwu

**kim jungwoo:** well, now you have one more reason to make out

**kim jungwoo:** make out to make up

**lee minhyung:** OHHHHHHH dayum

**kim dongyoung:** what the hell mark lee

**kim dongyoung:** and what the hell kim jungwoo

**kim dongyoung:** where have you been learning all these things

**kim jungwoo:** katy perry

**kim jungwoo:** we fight we break up, we kiss we make up

**kim jungwoo:** besides, I am literally 20 years old

**kim jungwoo:** about to turn 21 even

**kim jungwoo:** were you even 20 when you first made out with taeil-hyung??

**kim dongyoung:** shut up

**kim dongyoung:** you don't need to know when that happened

**kim dongyoung:** and as a matter of fact, I was

**jaehyoons:** nobody asked

**kim dongyoung:** JUNGWOO DID

**jaehyoons:** it was a rhetorical question, obviously

**kim dongyoung:** jae... why are you like this today

**jaehyoons:** like what?

**kim dongyoung:** idk, like more vwv than uwu..?

**jaehyoons:** oh but am I really

**kim dongyoung:** oh

**kim dongyoung:** that

**kim dongyoung:** I'm sorry..?

**jaehyoons:** yeah, I mean

**jaehyoons:** yeah

**jaehyoons:** please

**kim dongyoung:** yea

**kim dongyoung:** I promise

**jaehyoons:** thanks.

**kim jungwoo:** uhh, I have no idea what just happened

**kim jungwoo:** but still glad you guys are fine

**jaehyoons:** :)

**kim dongyoung:** :)

**kim jungwoo:** uwu

**YT:** okay but

**YT:** can we please stop saying uwu

**YT:** I know it's a trend but

**YT:** it's getting annoying

**dong sicheng:** yuta-hyung uwu

**YT:** okay never mind what I said

**YT:** winko you're uwu too

**TY:** how come no one calls me uwu :(((

**TY:** I'm cute and soft too :((

**kim dongyoung:** you're www

**kim dongyoung:** cuz you're so edgy

**YT:** HAHAHAHA

**YT:** nice one

**YT:** or like pwp

**YT:** cuz you're so kinky

**daltael:** heh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**TY:** HEY

**kim dongyoung:** AS I SAID THERE ARE KIDS HERE

**lee minhyung:** uhhhhhhh it's really not that bad mom

**kim dongyoung:** EXCUSE ME

**kim dongyoung:** how do you even know what it means?!

**lee minhyung:** uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**lee minhyung:** haha

**jaehyoons:** hey

**jaehyoons:** I disagree

**jaehyoons:** Taeyong-hyung is QwQ

**YT:** what's that mean

**jaehyoons:** not only soft but also a crybaby

**TY:** HEY

**TY:** YOU THERE

**TY:** thanks Q~Q

**kim dongyoung:** jae is the only one that ever takes your side

**kim dongyoung:** tbh you need to appreciate him more

**TY:** I do!

**TY:** I keep him close to my heart >w<

**YT:** what is with those emojis now

**kim dongyoung:** but not in your heart huh

**jaehyoons:** hyung

**jaehyoons:** please

**TY:** THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT

**TY:** seriously

**TY:** I have all of you guys in my heart

**TY:** (uwu)

**TY:** but I might need to kick dongyoung out

**kim dongyoung:** you wouldn't ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**TY:** oh I would

**kim dongyoung:** like I always say

**kim dongyoung:** we're gonna be best friends in 10 years

**TY:** exactly why I'm kicking you out

**daltael:** you don't need Taeyong's love when you have mine

**daltael:** ;)

**kim dongyoung:** ugh

**kim jungwoo:** UWU

**kim jungwoo:** taeil-hyung

**kim jungwoo:** why do you always reject my love though :(

**daltael:** I don't flirt with people who are taken

**YT:** then lay your hands off my winko

**YT:** we got married remember

**kim jungwoo:** wait yuta-hyung

**kim jungwoo:** are you two-timing????!!!!!

**jaehyoons:** wow what a hoe

**kim dongyoung:** jae;;

**YT:** hey

**YT:** don't joke about these things

**kim jungwoo:** sorry >_<

**YT:** it's not your fault

**YT:** I know we are close but some lines shouldn't be crossed yea?

**Johnny:** Hey, sorry to disturb your serious moment but Taeil-hyung, why do you always reject my love too :(

**daltael:** I thought I just said it??

**daltael:** I don't flirt with people who are taken

**Johnny:** But it's just friendly love :(

**kim jungwoo:** wait but if you think about it

**kim jungwoo:** dongyoung-hyung is also taken

**kim jungwoo:** by taeil-hyung, but still

**kim jungwoo:** so that statement isn't valid

**kim dongyoung:** but that's the point

**kim dongyoung:** I'm not taken

**kim jungwoo:** you're not??

**kim jungwoo:** then what is this overflowing uwu I see???

**daltael: @Johnny**

**Johnny:** Hello, I am the official spokesperson for Taeil-hyung and Dongyoung's relationship.

**Johnny:** Their current status is "an unofficial thing", and has been so for the past 3 years or so.

**Johnny:** Therefore, Dongyoung is technically not taken.

**Johnny:** Thanks for listening to my ted talk.

**lee donghyuck:** again with the youngster memes omg

**lee donghyuck:** so damn trippy

**lee donghyuck:** are you really youngho-hyung

**Johnny:** It's-a me, Johnny!

**lee donghyuck:** yup that sounds more like it

**kim jungwoo:** wow I can't believe you've been keeping that from me **@kim dongyoung**

**kim jungwoo:**  I thought I was your nct u bias :(

**kim dongyoung:** what has that to do with anything??

**kim dongyoung:** and I didn't keep it from you

**kim dongyoung:** you didn't ask

**kim jungwoo:** such a betrayer

**kim jungwoo:** I'm not telling you anything ever again

**kim dongyoung:** sigh...

**kim dongyoung:** every kid has to go through puberty, I understand

**lee donghyuck: @lee minhyung**

**lee minhyung:**  Hi, I am the resident expert in the field of puberty.

**lee minhyung:** Through my careful and precise analysis, I conclude that subject Kim Jungwoo is not going through puberty.

**lee minhyung:** He is showing signs of rebellion, which is typical in early puberty stages (middle school).

**lee minhyung:** However, given his age of 20 years and 9 months, the symptoms do not match.

**lee minhyung:** Thanks for listening to my ted talk.

**lee donghyuck:** tbh doesn't sound convincing but okay

**lee donghyuck:** at least you tried to insert statistics

**lee donghyuck:** I grade this essay a B-

**lee minhyung:** :(

**lee donghyuck:** fine, it's a B

**lee minhyung:** :(

**lee donghyuck:** it's final

**lee minhyung:** oh okay :)

**kim jungwoo:** as such is the pioneer of ffg

**kim dongyoung:** JUNGWOO

**kim dongyoung:** why are you so tainted already

**kim dongyoung:** must be lucas

**kim jungwoo:** nah it's just me

**dong sicheng:** but what is ffg

**kim dongyoung:** SOMETHING YOU SHOULDN'T KNOW AND SHOULD NEVER DO

**kim jungwoo:** fuck for grades

**kim jungwoo:** oh oops

**dong sicheng:** oh

**kim dongyoung:** sigh

**kim dongyoung:** why is raising kids so hard

**daltael:** Hi, I'm your resident expert in raising kids.

**kim dongyoung:** stfu I'm not listening to your ted talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woops I abandoned this for like almost 5 months, it's only jungwoo joining that I managed to squeeze out an update?? between the last update and this, I actually saw 127 live lol wat
> 
> p.s. there's gonna be some major relationship changes coming up ಠ‿ಠ
> 
> also may I direct your attention to chapter 3 where I wrote about taeil and doyoung just accepting their differences. in last saturday's (3rd Nov I think) ennana, doyoung actually talked about how he realised if you can't understand the other person, then just accept the differences. I can't help but think that doyoung has a similar mindset to me in some ways hahaha uhhh thanks for listening to MY ted talk

**Author's Note:**

> idek if this is funny but um I tried..?


End file.
